Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
This particular Wednesday morning after my relaxation time, I’d turned the living room upside down, vacuuming under the couches and washing the windows. Anything to keep from going online.
When I looked at the time and saw that I only had a half hour before I needed to go get Rosie, I started to move faster. Once she came home, I’d make her lunch. We’d do some activities together, and then before I knew it, I’d need to start preparing dinner so it would be ready when Casey got home. Whoever said being a mom wasn’t a full-time job needed their head checked.
The doorbell rang, prompting me to shut off the vacuum. Sometimes the mailman would ring the bell if he left a package at the door. No one else came by at this time of the day, so I assumed it was him.
But when I opened the door, the predictable day I’d imagined before me no longer existed.
Time no longer existed.
If I hadn’t felt my heart pounding, I might’ve doubted I was still alive—perhaps I’d died and gone to some twisted version of the afterlife. A place where everything you’ve suppressed suddenly meets you on the other side, forcing you to face it.
Am I dreaming?
Hallucinating?
“Hi, Primrose…”
I managed to utter his name. “Dorian…”
“Hi,” he said again.
“You’re…alive…” My lip trembled.
“Yes.” He reached out to cup my face, a look of wonder in his eyes as if he were also in a dreamlike state.
I willed my foolish heart to stop beating so fast for him. But I’d thought he was dead. Regardless of what he’d put me through, I was ecstatic to find out Dorian was alive.
But then fear took over, and my protective instincts shut everything down. I pulled away. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I know this is a shock.”
“Shock is not a strong-enough word.” I shook my head. “How. Why…are you here?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“How did you know where I live?”
“It’s not that hard to find someone these days. Simple internet search.”
Of course. Not everyone specifically avoided Google like I had for the past five years.
It was a miracle I remembered the time. “I have to go pick up my daughter from preschool. I can’t be late.” I paused. “I…have a daughter now.”
“I know,” he said softly.
“You do?” My eyes widened. “How would you know that?”
“I was hoping we could talk.” He looked down for a moment. “I’m sorry I chose a bad time to come by.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know…” Silence filled the air.
“Primrose, look me in the eyes, please.”
I realized I had been looking at the floor. I was afraid of what looking into his eyes would do to me, what it would cause me to remember.
And sure enough, when my gaze met his, a feeling of torturous nostalgia came over me. The same deep sadness that had been in his eyes the last time I’d seen him was there now.
“Please…” he breathed. “I know you don’t owe me anything. But I need to talk to you.” He reached into his pocket and handed me a sticky note. “I wrote down where I’m staying here in town, along with my number. It’s not the same one I used to have. Not that you’d still have the old one. I wouldn’t blame you if you’d completely erased me in every possible way.” He exhaled. “I’m not leaving Cincinnati, though, until I’ve had a chance to speak with you. I’ll wait as long as necessary until you have a moment to talk to me.”
What the hell is this about? “I’ll see what I can do,” I finally said.
“Thank you.” He nodded and took a few steps back. “I’ll let you go get your daughter.”
I watched blankly as he got into his car and drove away.
After he was no longer in sight, I closed the door and leaned my back against it, attempting to catch the breath that felt like it had been sucked out of my body. I was confused and scared about what he could possibly have to say to me. The list of questions I had for him was certainly long.
The alarm on my phone went off, scaring the crap out of me. I always set a ten-minute warning in case I lost track of time, never wanting to be late for preschool pickup.
I quickly entered Dorian’s number into my phone, along with the address on the sticky note, before heading out to my car. I took in some of the cool September air, hoping it might calm the turmoil inside me.
The tree-lined ride to the preschool felt like a blur, as my thoughts spun out of control. When I got to the pickup line, I didn’t even know how the hell I’d gotten there.
Today was Wednesday. I decided the only time I’d be able to meet with Dorian was two days from now, on Friday. That was the next time Rosie had preschool. Curiosity might kill me before then, but I didn’t have the kind of life where I could just leave the house whenever I wanted to on a whim. Not to mention, Dorian didn’t deserve to have me jump at the chance to meet him. He wasn’t dead after all. Therefore, I could go back to being angry, since I no longer had to mourn him. I almost laughed at that. You’re ridiculous.