Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“Why are you stressed today?” I followed him into the kitchen. “Or should I say, which of the many reasons you have to be stressed is topping the list?”
“Just the unknown,” he answered. “There’s a lot you and I still need to catch up on.” He gestured toward the kitchen table. “Sit. I’ll get you a piece.”
Dorian headed over to the stove and prepared me a slice of his dessert. As he handed it to me, his hand brushed against mine, making me all too aware of my unwavering physical attraction to him. A wave of nostalgia came over me as I thought back to a much simpler time when he’d first made me apple crisp. I remembered the giddy excitement of that night and also felt sad for that smitten girl who had no idea of the heartbreak to come.
“You fell into a trance just now,” Dorian said as he sat across from me. “What’s on your mind?”
“Just thinking back to the good old days at the mansion.”
“Those months with you were the best of my life, Primrose.”
Rather than reciprocate that sentiment, I looked down at my plate and cut into the apple crisp with my fork, grateful for an excuse to look away from him. All my eyes wanted to do, however, was explore his face, every beautiful angle that I’d missed so much.
“Can I get you some coffee? Water?” he asked.
“No. I’m good,” I said with my mouth full. “This is great. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiled as he watched me chew.
We ate in silence for a bit until he finally put his fork down. “I know we don’t have that much time. So I’d like to ask you some questions, if that’s okay?”
Moving my plate aside, I licked the corner of my mouth and cleared my throat. “Okay.”
Dorian took a deep breath. “Will you tell me more about your relationship with Casey?”
I swallowed. “What do you want to know?”
“I want to know how he turned out to be someone you didn’t end things with out of fear, like all the other guys before him, except me. Is it more than just your daughter? Or is she the main reason you’ve stayed with him?”
He definitely wasn’t wasting time. These were questions I didn’t have clear answers to, questions I’d been battling internally for some time, especially with the impending wedding. How was I supposed to admit things to Dorian I hadn’t been able to admit to myself?
Suddenly feeling a bit reckless, I decided to be as honest as possible. “I can’t say whether he and I would still be together if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. But I’ve never felt stuck with him. If I were unhappy, I wouldn’t have stayed. At the same time, I no longer have anxiety over getting hurt because the worst has already happened to me. In a weird way, you broke the pattern. After you left, it wasn’t possible for anyone to break me any more—I was already broken. And I guess losing that fear allowed me to stop sabotaging things.”
Dorian lowered his gaze to the table. “Wow.” He scratched his chin. “That’s very interesting.” He exhaled and stared up at the ceiling for several seconds before he looked at me again. “You alluded to the fact that you’re not unhappy, but I don’t understand what that means. Not unhappy. Not being in a state of unhappiness isn’t exactly a state of joy.”
Fidgeting a bit, I felt myself getting flustered. “What are you needing to hear from me? I gave you my honest answer, even if it’s not black and white.”
“I guess what I need to hear in order to leave Ohio in peace…is that you’re truly happy. So happy that you don’t have regrets about anything, and nothing I could ever say or do would change that. But I need you to mean it and not just say it to get me to leave because you’re scared.”
He’d hit the nail on the head. It would’ve been much easier to downplay my feelings for him in order to get him to leave. But was that what I wanted?
After a moment, he crossed his arms. “This situation is hard for me, Primrose. Because I don’t even know what my goal is. I don’t want to break up a family. But I’ve never stopped loving you. I need you to at least know that so that whatever you do with your life, you make an informed decision. I can’t help how I feel, how I’ve felt this entire time. There wasn’t one day when I wasn’t in love with you. Not one day when I didn’t hope that by some miracle I could find my way back to you and have another chance. But…” He paused. “When I found out you had a child with Casey, I realized I had to be prepared to lose you forever. I debated for a long time whether I should even come to you. But ultimately, I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you the truth. I’m sorry if my decision has turned your life upside down.”