Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“Oh my gosh. How is that possible? A color?”
“It’s a long story.” I looked down at my phone. “Not sure we have time for it today.”
Lucy looked over at the kids and sipped her coffee. “They seem to be playing well. And I ain’t going anywhere. So, I’m listening.”
I took a deep breath and began the story of my heartbreak, starting with when I’d moved to the mansion to live with my aunt and ending with my leaving Orion Coast after the devastation of Dorian’s one-eighty. I also explained the aquamarine thing. She listened intently—the story unfolded like some kind of television drama, complete with handsome billionaire, tragedy, and picturesque California scenery.
When I finished, she cocked her head. “You haven’t googled him all this time?”
“No. I don’t want to know anything. I know that might seem hard to believe, but there’s nothing I could find out that would make me feel better about the situation. I don’t want to see that he’s moved on with someone. I don’t want to see his face. I was supposed to have kept in touch with Patsy and Benjamin, but I lost touch with them as well. Reaching out to them could mean learning something that would upset me. I need to move on.”
She sighed. “Wow, I can’t believe you and I have known each other all this time, and you never told me this story. Your time there clearly had a major impact on your life, and it all makes so much sense now.”
“What makes sense?”
“Why I sometimes catch you deep in thought, like something is on your mind, and yet you always claim to be fine. You have this air of mystery around you, something I could never put my finger on. And certainly this explains why you acted strangely at the dress shop.”
“When you truly believe you love someone with all of your heart and soul and they betray you, your trust in everything dies. I trust Casey as much as I possibly can. But also it’s...” I hesitated.
“What?” she prodded.
“It’s as if…” I thought a moment. “It’s as if I don’t care anymore. Like the worst has already happened. And now, I just do what’s best for my daughter, regardless of whether Casey or anyone else might end up hurting me.” I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m capable of being hurt anymore.”
Lucy nodded. “That’s sad, but sort of reasonable.”
“I love Casey, but it’s different than what I experienced in California. I’m not sure if I’d ever be able to love someone the way I loved Dorian.”
“Hmm…” Her eyes narrowed. “Did you say his name is Dorian?”
“Yeah, why?” I tried to avoid saying it out loud as much as possible.
She stared into space for a moment. “Dorian... I feel like I heard that name somewhere recently. What’s his last name?”
“Vanderbilt.”
Her eyes widened.
“What?”
“I could swear I heard that exact name recently. Dorian Vanderbilt. I shit you not. I just can’t remember where.”
A surge of adrenaline rushed through me. Hopefully, she was just imagining this. Dorian Vanderbilt wasn’t exactly a common name, though. If she thought she’d heard it, maybe she had.
Lucy rubbed her temples. “It’s gonna drive me nuts until I figure it out.”
As the minutes passed, I tried to calm myself. This probably meant nothing. People confused names all the time.
Rosie and I stayed another hour at Lucy’s before I had to round my daughter up so we could get home to prepare dinner. Just as I was gathering our things, Lucy snapped her fingers. “I know where I heard that name.”
I froze. “Where?”
“It was someone who rented a car recently.”
Lucy worked part time at the car rental place at the airport. Blood pounded in my ears.
Then she laughed. “But you know what? I get client names wrong all the time. I remember thinking what a strong name that was, but for all I know, it could’ve been Damien or Darren Vanderbilt.” She shook her head. “Maybe it was Van der Beek.”
The tension in my neck relaxed a bit. I could totally see Lucy screwing up the name. She likely ran across all kinds of similar-sounding names with the volume of business at that car rental place. I laughed it off. “Well, thanks a lot for the scare, but I’m gonna choose to ignore it.”
“As you should with my scatterbrain.” She chuckled.
We said goodbye, and I vowed to let it go. Just wasn’t sure that I could.
***
Later that evening, I wished my guardian angel would drop something on my head to knock some sense into me. I knew I’d regret what I was about to do. And yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
After both Casey and Rosie were asleep, I snuck out of bed into the living room with my laptop.
Rather than freeing me, my obsession with Dorian had grown worse after recounting my story to Lucy earlier. It made me wonder if the reason I hadn’t been able to let go of him was because I was still hanging on to the Dorian of the past. It was easy to do that when I hadn’t googled him to see who he was now, what sort of life he was living. If I could see with my own eyes that he was married or was still playing the field, maybe that would help me to move on.