Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Otherwise, it was as if Dorian, or at least the memory of him, had been frozen in time—as if the Dorian I knew was still out there somewhere, regretting his decision to hurt me. My mind kept giving me conflicting messages, one second warning me against searching his name, the next encouraging me to get it over with.
What are you doing?
This is a mistake.
Just do it!
My pulse raced as my fingers hovered over the keys. A minute later, I typed his name.
D-O-R-I-A-N V-A-N-D-E-R-B-I-L-T.
After I hit the search button, I closed my eyes. I didn’t really want to know. A wave of nausea came over me as I forced my eyes open. Then the title of the news article I saw rocked me to my core.
Orion Coast Tech Mogul Dorian Vanderbilt Missing at Sea
I’d been through a lot of shocking moments in my life—the day Christina died, the moment Dorian broke up with me, the day I’d learned I was pregnant—but never in my life had I felt the weight of something so heavy, so profoundly soul-crushing.
I’d prepared myself for a number of potentially upsetting scenarios: finding out he was married, finding out he had a child, confirming that he looked more beautiful and happier than ever. But never had I considered a scenario like this.
Gulping, I clicked on the article.
Authorities in Turkey are searching the Aegean Sea for the bodies of tech billionaire Dorian Vanderbilt and a business associate after the luxury boat they were traveling in was found empty and unmanned about thirty miles from shore. Local authorities, along with the Turkish Coast Guard Command, have been searching the waters for the past forty-eight hours after a member of Vanderbilt’s staff reported him missing. According to Vanderbilt associates, while on vacation, the tech mogul went out on a leisurely ride, accompanied by longtime family friend Benjamin Crane. Neither Crane nor Vanderbilt have been seen nor heard from since. It’s feared that the men may have gone swimming off of the boat and drowned. At this time, there are no indications of foul play.
I felt the walls closing in as tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked at the date of the California newspaper article, and my stomach sank. It had been published a year or so after I’d left California. Years had gone by, and I’d been worrying about all the wrong things. All of this time Dorian had been dead? Or missing? I didn’t know which. But I didn’t want to keep looking. I couldn’t bear to see that he and Benjamin had died. I wasn’t ready for that.
Oh my God. Poor Dorian.
I didn’t care what he’d done to me. He didn’t deserve to drown. And Benjamin.
Feeling a violent churning in my stomach, I ran to the bathroom off the kitchen and vomited into the toilet.
Presumed dead.
Presumed dead.
Presumed dead.
I vomited again.
When there was nothing left, I sat in a corner of the bathroom, huddled on the floor. All I felt in that moment was love—love for a man I’d vilified for being honest about his feelings. Love for a man who’d been through so much after the loss of his father, only to be...presumed dead. Drowned. How could this have happened?
Maybe I could find the courage to keep searching for information. But not today. Today I wasn’t ready to hear that the love of my life had died. And yes, it was now clear to me that the love of my life could also be the greatest heartbreak of my life. Dorian Vanderbilt was one and the same.
CHAPTER 20
* * *
There was only one time of day when I could get things done: the three hours in the morning that Rosie was at preschool, and she only went three days a week. I’d drop her off shortly before eight and pick her up at eleven. The time always flew by. Usually, since I was already out, after dropping her at school, I’d treat myself to a latte from the café, bring it home, and enjoy twenty minutes of me time before tackling whatever household things were on my long to-do list—anything from bills to laundry to cleaning up the mess my daughter had made the previous night. But those twenty minutes sitting in the sunroom with my latte, closing my eyes occasionally and letting the sun from the windows beat down on my face? Heavenly—and much needed. Although, as of the last six days, my breaks hadn’t been as relaxing as they once were. My time alone was now consumed by an urgency to go online.
It was a constant battle to stop myself from seeking the information I wasn’t ready to handle. I knew eventually I’d give in. It was only a matter of time. But I wasn’t ready to face the truth. As long as I was ignorant, there was a chance Dorian was alive. And I needed him to be alive, even if it was just an illusion.