Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 80102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Three guys from the team who didn’t leave for their off-season vacations or summer jobs are here in full gear, waiting for me to suit up in team pads and skates to meet them on the ice so Coach can see what I’ve got.
Two on two won’t demonstrate the full range of my skills, but I still give everything I have.
I’m playing with a dude named Zeke Montgomery, who goes by Monte. We instantly bond over having nicknames derived from our last names.
We’re skating against Lawton and Finnce, and holy fuck, they’re fast. All three of them are. I keep up, but it’s a workout.
The locker rooms, the facilities, hell, even the way these guys skate … It’s a big step up from playing in Vermont, and it’s intimidating, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t piqued my interest. I told Campbell I’d come into this with an open mind, and I am.
I push hard, but it doesn’t feel like it’s hard enough. It’s like playing against a team who keeps scoring and it’s impossible to find the net. I manage to get around Finnce a few times, but it’s easy to score when there’s no goalie.
This isn’t about winning or losing, though. This is about showing what I can bring to their team.
We’re not on the ice long when the coach calls it, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
So after I shower in the best locker room experience I’ve ever had, I meet Healy and the coach in the offices.
Coach leans back in his seat. “Tell me a little about yourself.”
“Umm.” I shrug. “I’m just a gay dairy farmer from Vermont who likes playing hockey.”
Coach doesn’t even flinch. “Interesting …”
“How so?”
I expect him to say something about being so open about my sexuality and about maybe not letting it get in my way.
He proves me wrong. “Most kids who come in here answer that question with ‘I’m the next best thing in hockey.’”
“I assure you, I’m not that. I love hockey, but it’s not all that I am. And I’m not delusional; I know I’m not the next Mario Lemieux.”
He smiles. “Healy told me he saw something in you during your game against Colchester. He’s really backing you here.”
That makes me uncomfortable, and I shift in my seat. Why is my hockey career more fascinating to everyone else but me? “I’m not saying I don’t have talent or what it takes to make it in pro hockey, but I am saying it’s not in me to be one of the greats.”
“I like humility in a player,” Coach says. “Especially at this level. We get players in here all the time claiming they’re ready for the Big Show only to refuse to develop into better players.”
“Believing you can’t grow anymore, that’s when you’ve peaked.”
“We want to invite you to come to preseason training,” Healy says. “We’ll see how you gel with the rest of the team, but a contract offer could be on the table. You’ll need to get an agent, and we can go from there.”
I suck in a sharp breath. Today was fun, there’s no doubt, but … I still don’t see this as my big break or an amazing opportunity. Chasing three of these guys around the ice was enough to know my heart isn’t in it.
Rainn doesn’t have the physical ability to be a hockey player. I don’t have the love for it.
Healy and the coach sit there blinking at me.
“You need to think it over?” Coach asks.
“It’s not that I’m not grateful for this opportunity, but it’s a big move.”
Not to mention rookie AHL players earn peanuts.
If I could really, truly see myself trying to develop my skills to make it to the NHL, then yeah, this would be the opportunity of a lifetime. But I don’t want that life.
I could waste the next few years skating and fart-assing around in the AHL, or I could do exactly what I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid.
We stand and shake hands again before I make my way outside. The three players are there, standing around talking.
Monte turns to me. “Hey, rook, coming out for a drink?”
I go with it. “May as well. That’s better than hanging around my hotel room.”
But if I’m honest, I’d rather head straight to the airport and try to get an earlier flight so I can go home to Rainn, to the farm, and to my real future.
This. The butterflies in my gut, the overwhelming feeling of excitement mixed with nausea, this is how I should have felt walking into that arena in Scranton.
Instead, I’m outside Vino and Veritas where it all began, wondering how I can go in there and demand that Rainn let go of all of his issues so we can be together and live some happily ever after like a fucked-up fairy tale.