Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“I’m staying until you tell me to leave,” he said matter-of-factly. “I told you that.”
“Don’t you have a life to get back to?”
“I have a lot of things I could be getting back to.” He shook his head. “But none of them is more important than you.”
Oh my. If I’d thought coming here today was going to resolve my feelings, I was sorely mistaken. All I felt right now was sheer turmoil. “I’m sorry. I’m not handling this well,” I said, feeling my eyes water.
“Who said you needed to handle this any certain way? There’s no playbook for this situation. It’s fucked up. I know that.”
My voice cracked. “When you’re not right in front of me, it’s easier to go on with my life. But when you’re right here…everything feels so familiar. There are moments when I feel like my old self. I thought she didn’t exist anymore. But I feel her when I’m with you,” I confessed. “At the same time, I don’t know how that girl fits into my life now.”
“When was the last time you created art—not for kids or for hire, but for you?”
“A long time,” I murmured.
“That makes me sad.”
I shrugged. “I’ll find my way back to it. This is a season of my life where it’s been more important to focus on my daughter. I don’t regret that.”
Dorian nodded. “I’m proud of you.” He let out a long breath. “I wish I could just let you go, Primrose. Not come here. It would’ve made your life easier. But I can’t give up hope until you tell me there’s none left.”
“And if I say there will never be hope for us… You go back to California and what?”
“I try to move on. My life has been on hold for too long. I need to figure out a new normal.”
“What do you want out of life now?”
He shrugged. “I want to be happy. I would like to have a family, but not with the wrong person. I’m not sure how I move on with someone else if I’m still in love with you, but maybe I do what you’re doing.”
“What I’m doing?” I blinked.
“Yeah. Go through the motions. Have a kid. Devote my life to them so I don’t need to feel anything else that’s missing.”
His words were like a knife to my heart. Because they were true.
Dorian tilted his head to look at me. “That is what you’re doing, isn’t it? You’re not fulfilled in your relationship.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
The tension grew thick between us. After several seconds of quiet, Dorian stood. “Let’s move to the living room. We’ll be more comfortable.”
Grateful for the momentary reprieve, I followed him and took a seat next to the blazing fire.
The heat was no match for the intensity I felt in Dorian’s presence today, though.
CHAPTER 24
* * *
Dorian
It was hard to look at her. Primrose had only gotten more beautiful over the years. Even harder than that, though, was knowing in my soul that she still had feelings for me. Knowing that if she didn’t believe her daughter bound her to Casey, we might’ve stood a chance. But that wasn’t reality. That sweet little girl did deserve a happy home, one with both of her parents. At the same time, Primrose deserved to live her happiest life. It seemed like an insoluble conundrum, the only certainty being that someone would get hurt.
The fire lit up her beautiful eyes. Neither blue, nor green. Aquamarine. I could see the flames from the fire reflected in them.
Looking over at my phone, I realized we didn’t have much time left. “When is the wedding?” I asked.
“Six months.”
I nodded, relieved that it wasn’t any sooner, and yet stressed that I only had six months to correct five years’ worth of damage that I’d caused.
I thought about how beautiful she’d look walking down the aisle, about their daughter scattering rose petals. Rosebud petals. My Rosebud—who wasn’t mine anymore.
I also thought about the ring I’d bought, the one I’d tucked away in the family safe five years ago while I figured out the right time to give it to her. That had been just a couple of weeks before everything went to hell. I’d likely never get the chance to give it to her now. She’d never know exactly how committed to her I was.
Primrose snapped me out of my thoughts. “Where are you living now, Dorian?”
“Funny you should ask.” I grinned. “I actually repurchased the mansion. I just haven’t made it a home again yet.”
Her jaw dropped. “I’m surprised you’d want to do that.”
“Why?”
“There are so many negative memories associated with it.”
“But more positive ones.” Like almost every memory I have with you. Being there makes me feel closer to you when I can’t be. “I gave up my dad’s company, everything he built. It felt like the right thing to at least get the family home back, so not all was lost.”