Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“I’m glad you came back.” I smiled. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Oh, I wasn’t gonna leave town without seeing you. I just wanted you and Dorian to have privacy today so he could talk to you before I intruded.”
“It warms my heart that you two have been together all this time.”
“I had to look out for him.” He winked. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get out of your hair.” He turned to me. “Don’t worry. I won’t leave town until you and I have had a proper catch-up, Primrose.”
“You better not.”
After he left, I turned to face Dorian again. Benjamin’s presence had allowed for a brief reprieve from the tension. Now that he was gone, it returned in full force.
“He’s amazing,” I said.
“That he is,” Dorian agreed. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”
“I always wondered why he’d never reached out to me. I mean, I know why I didn’t reach out to him…”
“Because you didn’t want to find out I’d moved on?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I always felt guilty about not initiating contact with him, but I also thought Benjamin would check on me eventually. When he never did, I assumed it was because he knew something and didn’t want to hurt me. So I never pushed it.”
“He certainly knew some things. Just not what you likely envisioned. I’m sorry you were led to believe he didn’t care—that I didn’t care.”
We returned to our seats and continued our conversation. Dorian had done enough digging into my life to know I was with Casey and had a child, but he didn’t know the circumstances in which I’d met my fiancé or gotten pregnant. I spent a good deal of time catching him up on how my current situation had come to be. I shied away from going into too much detail about my feelings for Casey, though. Not sure if that was because I didn’t want Dorian to sense my hesitancy about the wedding, or because I didn’t want to assume Dorian was ready to talk about Casey.
“I’m proud of you, Rosebud,” he finally said.
“Why?”
“You’re a good mother. It wasn’t a situation you asked for, but you rolled with it. It seems like you’ve dedicated your life to your daughter.”
“Why wouldn’t I? That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?”
His stare was piercing. “Are you happy?”
“I’m happy being a mom.”
“What about everything else?”
“Are you asking if I’m happy in my relationship?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately.
I swallowed. “I love Casey. He’s an amazing father and a hard worker.”
“You’re in love with him?”
“I just said I loved him.”
His gaze was unwavering. “I asked if you’re in love with him.”
“What’s the difference?”
“You can love people for many different reasons.” He paused and held out his palms. “I swear to you, Primrose, I’m not here to stir up trouble. I’m just curious. Because I know how you felt about me. I also know the pain I caused you. For you to have fallen in love with someone else a year later seems…”
“I didn’t fall in love with Casey a year later. I accidentally got pregnant a year later. I’ve learned to love him over time in the years since Rosie was born.”
Dorian nodded. “I understand. Thank you. It’s none of my business. I just want to know you’re happy and fulfilled.”
My cheeks flushed. “I feel like I’m on the hotseat.”
“I don’t mean to pressure you.”
“I never imagined I’d be sitting across from you again.”
“I know. It’s surreal. As much as I’ve imagined this moment, it still feels like an out-of-body experience. Of course, my biggest wish when everything resolved was that somehow I could work things out and come back to you. But since I discovered your situation, I’ve been working to accept that the happily ever after I wanted isn’t gonna happen.” He stared into the fire. “I debated not coming at all. I don’t want to disrupt your life. But ultimately, I couldn’t stand the idea of you believing I’d fallen out of love with you.”
“I’m not the same person anymore,” I confessed.
“Really? Or are you just saying that because it’s the safest thing to hide behind?” He turned to look at me. “And don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t blame you for that.”
After several seconds of quiet, he hit me with another question that was hard to answer.
“What’s going on with your art?”
“I haven’t painted for me in years,” I admitted. “I have a business, though. I paint for kids. Faces. Animals. Caricatures. It does well.”
“That’s cool. But why aren’t you painting for you anymore?”
How could I admit that every ounce of true creativity had been sucked out of me the day he ended things? That would be like pouring salt in his wounds.
“I lost my way, I guess.”
“That’s sad to hear. I’m sorry if I had anything to do with it.”