Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“I don’t know,” I muttered. “It was surreal seeing her again. The same beautiful Primrose, but at the same time, worlds away.”
“Well, you’ll have another opportunity to connect.”
I stared into the fireplace. “Maybe this was a mistake.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little too soon to throw in the towel?”
“I needed her to know the truth. But can I really expect her to leave her family to be with me?”
“She has a daughter—and a boyfriend. She’s not married.”
“She’s getting married,” I countered.
“Every decision she made was because she thought you’d abandoned her.”
“Right. But that doesn’t change her current reality. Doesn’t matter how she got here.” I shook my head. “I didn’t come here to fuck things up for her.”
“I’m sure she understands that.”
“Seriously, though, what am I hoping to achieve here, Benjamin? Get her to leave him? That’s her daughter’s father. That’s breaking up a family.”
“You want to go back to California after Monday? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No.” I slowly breathed out, trying to calm myself. “I can’t leave until she tells me to. I need to see this through until the day she looks me in the eye and tells me there’s no hope.”
“Okay, so what does seeing this through mean?”
“For one, it means figuring out if she’s truly happy. And if she is, in her current situation, figuring out a way to accept that there’ll never be another chance for her and me.”
“And if you determine she’s not happy?”
“Figuring out a way to get her back.”
His mouth curved into a smile. “Gosh, it was nice to see her.”
“At least you got a hug.” I chuckled. “She wouldn’t dare come near me.”
“That alone tells you that you still have an effect on her.”
Desperate for reassurance, I hoped he was right. The vibe I’d gotten from her was definitely a cold one. I’d had fantasies for the past five years about the day I might be reunited with Primrose. None of them had included her sitting across from me, seeming scared by every word coming out of my mouth. I’d had recurring dreams about her running toward me in an open field. But the reality was nothing like that.
“Hearing myself tell her the full story out loud…” I shook my head. “It all sounded so crazy, like something out of the kind of movies she and I used to watch. It’s hard to believe that was actually my life for five years.”
“Your life? How about my life?”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. “You’re right. Sorry. When my dad hired you, I’m sure you never imagined you’d be my partner in crime for life…”
Benjamin punched me in the arm. “We’re family. You’re stuck with me.”
“I couldn’t have survived without you. You risked your life.”
“What can I say? I like to live on the edge.” He winked. “And you pay well. So there’s that.”
I grinned. “What’s the plan for tonight?” I asked as I followed him into the kitchen.
“I’m making tostones and arroz con pollo. Although no one makes it like my Puerto Rican grandmother. When I’m stressed, I like to make comfort food.”
“What are you stressed about?”
“I was a bit nervous for you today when I planned dinner. I guess I wondered if things wouldn’t go as well as they did.”
I stepped back in surprise. “You think it went well? I didn’t feel like that at all.”
“She agreed to come back and talk more. I’d say that’s as much as you could hope for.”
“Aside from the fact that she probably thinks I’m a fucking stalker.”
“Well, aren’t you?” He arched his brow.
“Keeping tabs on someone over the years just to make sure she’s okay is not stalking. Plus, I paid others to do it. So technically, it was only indirect stalking.”
“I’m just kidding, my friend.” Benjamin chuckled.
“Can you tell I’m extra fucking sensitive today?”
“You have every right to be.”
I leaned against the counter. “I’d longed for this day and also dreaded it.”
“Why dread?” he asked.
“I worried that I’d look in her eyes and be able to tell she’d fallen out of love with me.”
“What did you see when you looked into her eyes?”
“Nothing but fear.”
“Hmm…” He scratched his chin. “I would take fear over apathy.” He began putting away his groceries. “I think she’s afraid of her own reaction to you, perhaps.”
“I’m not sure, but I won’t be able to explore it any more until Monday.”
Benjamin started singing that old song, “Monday Monday,” as he finished putting everything away.
Monday couldn’t come soon enough.
***
The following day, I decided I needed to make myself useful to get my mind off things. So I joined Benjamin on his grocery store run.
As we strolled the aisles, I made an announcement. “You made dinner last night. It’s my turn tonight.”
Benjamin stopped the shopping cart. “We could go out, you know.”
“Are you trying to hint that you’re afraid of my cooking?”