Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
I hold up my hand. “It’s fine,” I say softly.
“I just came here to get away,” he explains, and I stop and stand beside him, the both of us looking at the stream.
“I’m so sorry, Lilah,” he says, his voice breaking. “What I did to you was—” He shakes his head. “There are no words that can justify what I did.” I don’t say anything because what can I say, yeah, you were a big asshole. “I wish I could go back and change it all.” He looks at me, and I look at him. “Have a good day, Lilah.” He nods at me and walks past me. I don’t say anything to him because what can I possibly say besides go fuck yourself and I’ll never forgive you.
I get home and it feels like I’m suffocating by being in my apartment. This place used to be my little oasis, and now I feel like I’m being strangled. Nighttimes are the worst. I hate every single second of the darkness. So much so that for the past three days, I’ve been rolling out of bed at four a.m.
I brush my teeth and my hair before walking out and making my way to the barn. I get out of the truck, stretching my arms above my head before I walk in and come to a stop when I see Sammy already in. “Hey,” I say, shocked, “aren’t you here early?”
“Yeah,” he replies as he walks over to the kitchen. “Emmett asked me to check a couple of things.” He puts down the clipboard. “I just made coffee.” He walks over to the kitchen as I start to walk to the horses. “I made you a coffee.” He sticks his head out of the kitchen.
I think about riding the horse, but I actually need the caffeine in me. I walk over to the kitchen, seeing him take a sip of his coffee while my coffee mug sits on the counter. I put my phone down beside the cup. “Thank you,” I say, walking to it and picking it up. “I needed this.” I smell the coffee before taking a sip.
“You doing okay?” he asks. I look over at him and take another sip of the coffee. “Word going around is that you and Emmett…”
I avoid looking at him, instead taking another sip of the coffee. “There was no me and Emmett,” I finally say.
“Okay, well, I’m here if you ever want to talk,” he offers. I look over at him, seeing him look at me differently this morning. My eyes start to get heavier as I pick up the cup and take another sip. “What is in here?” I ask, and he just smirks, but his smirk is evil. “What did you put in here?” That’s the last thing I say before I feel his arms hold me up, and the blackness takes me.
Chapter Thirty-Six
EMMETT
“Let’s get a move on,” I mumble to Lucy, who is putting her cereal bowl in the sink while I fold the blanket I used on the couch, where I’ve been sleeping since she fucking left. I tried to go into the bed on Monday, and her smell literally drove me insane. I felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest and explode on my feet. So I hightailed it to the couch, where I’ve been ever since. “Did you grab your field trip permission form?” I ask, putting on my hat and walking out of the house with her in front of me.
I look over to the barn, like I always do, even though I know there would be no reason for her to be there since she moved her horse. It’s been almost two weeks, and every single night that I’ve sat with myself on the couch, I try to remember why I left her and then tell myself it’s for the better. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even believe my own shit that is going on in my head. I want her back so bad it hurts. But I don’t want her to have to sacrifice her hopes and dreams for me. I won’t do that to her. I’ve seen her with Lucy, and she will be the best mother she can be. I refuse to take that from her.
“Yeah,” she mumbles, walking to the truck. “Can I go riding with Lilah today?” she asks, and I stop walking.
“I don’t know,” I answer her honestly. “We’ll see.” Ever since Lilah has been gone, she’s been asking when Lilah would be coming back. When Lilah would be done with her schoolwork. Even though she sees her every single night after school, she doesn’t get it that there will never be Lilah in our house. I’m very fucking thankful she isn’t taking it out on Lucy, that the only one she isn’t talking to is me. From what I’ve seen, she treats her the same way she always treated her. She is the same bubbly person she’s always been, except to me. She hasn’t said a word to me since last week. If papers need to be delivered to me, she waits until I’m not at my desk or gets someone else to hand them to me. The only one it was pissing off was Charlie, who every single day I thought would run me over with his truck.