Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
I took a deep inhale. “Not that you give a shit.” I stared into her eyes. “Obviously, just wanted you to know that I’ve joined the military.” She rolled her eyes. “You know, since my life has been rainbows and butterflies since you killed my father.”
“That was all you,” she hissed at me, her eyes that were light suddenly went dark. “You put this fucking evil in me.” Her voice went a bit higher. “You’re evil inside and out, and everything you touch becomes rotten to the core just like you. I was fine before you, but the minute I had you in me, it was like you were part of the devil.” My mouth went dry. “You are the reason I’m in here. You put the devil in me, just like you are going to spread your poison to everyone you touch. Everyone you love will feel the evilness you have. Got it in your blood, seeping to come out.” She spat at the glass, right at me. “I should have killed you at the same time. To stop you from spreading the evil that lives inside you. I should have killed you to stop the poison from spreading. Your kids will have the same evil you have, and your wife is going to end up exactly where I am today. Hopefully, when she kills herself or her child, she kills you also. One could hope at least, and then I’ll finally be free of the devil that is inside me, that you left inside me.” She shrugged and hung up the phone before pushing away from the table and getting up.
I put the phone down, walking toward the door and pressing the white button. I didn’t say a word to anyone as I made my way out and to the waiting car I borrowed to come here. The minute I got to the driver’s side door, I put my hand on top of the car and threw up on the side of it. Vowing to never, ever fall in love with anyone and especially never bring a child into this world. I knew what she said was not right. I knew in my gut that she was the evil one, but I had her blood in my veins, and I refused to let her continue.
I sit in the darkness all night long, not wanting to be in bed without her. Not willing to smell her all around me, knowing I can’t have her. Also knowing that not a day will go by when I won’t love Lilah.
I hear footsteps when the sun comes up, and when I finally look over to the bedside table, I see it’s just after six in the morning. I hear giggling followed by a “Shhh.”
Taking a deep inhale, I get up and rub my hand over my face, my body feeling like it’s been run over by a herd of bulls. Walking out, I see Lucy and Saige are in the kitchen eating the leftover cupcakes I put on the side for them this morning. “Morning,” I say to them both, and their heads whip to mine.
“Morning,” they both say at the same time and then giggle, “we’re having breakfast.”
“Okay,” I reply, not having the energy to tell them cupcakes are not breakfast. Instead going over to the coffee machine and making coffee. “I’m going to head into the shower, and when I come out, I’ll make you breakfast.”
I head to my bedroom bypassing the bed, and I swear it feels like she’s in the room with me. The shower is even worse when I see her bottles of soap, along with her shampoo. I stick to cold water so I can rush through the shower, and when I walk out, the girls are on the couch under the throw blankets. “Pancakes or eggs?” I ask them and they both shout back.
“Pancakes!”
I fix them breakfast, cutting up some fruit before calling them over. “Should I get Lilah?” Lucy asks and I shake my head.
“She’s not here.” I say the words, feeling like they’re slicing my throat while I say them. “She had to go back to her house to study for her exam,” I lie to her. “Eat before it gets cold.”
The day drags by and the night is even worse when Lucy ends up staying at Brock’s. The bottle of whiskey keeps me company until I pass out on the couch. The next day we’re getting ready to ride Rosy when Lucy asks, “Can we get Lilah some lunch?” I shake my head.
“No, she’s busy,” I answer, and I can see a defeated Lucy, but she doesn’t say anything while we ride. Even dinner is eerily quiet as we eat side by side, both of us probably missing Lilah.
I don’t make it to my bed that night either, opting to sleep on the couch. Drop-off is quick, and when I see her truck parked in her spot, I somehow feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I get out and head to the barn, seeing her right away. The pain in my chest gets more intense as I watch her smile with Sammy, her eyes watching him while he says something.