Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
I bend to look at her in her eyes. “You are the strongest woman I know,” I remind her, cupping my hand on her cheek. “Literally, there is nothing in this world you can’t do.”
“I can’t do this,” she sobs as a contraction comes and she closes her eyes as she moans through it.
I look at the nurse, who smiles sadly at me. “She’s moving too fast, there is no way we can get it.”
“I don’t want to do this anymore.” She opens her eyes, “I thought I could, I can’t.”
“Sweetheart,” I soothe softly, “there is no one in this world who has more strength than you do. No one who can survive what you did and not only rise above it, but get even stronger from it.” I kiss her lips. “You are the pillar of strength. I’m in awe of you.”
“You’re just saying that because I’m going to have to push out the baby and feel it all.” She closes her eyes and another comes, this time she yells, “I feel pressure.” She holds her stomach. “So much pressure.”
The nurse moves over to the little intercom on the wall, without a care in the world, and I have to look up at the ceiling before I snap at her to move her fucking ass. “Can we get a doctor in room four?” She turns back to look at us. “Let me check you again.” She comes over and asks Lilah to open her legs. “Oh, she’s crowning.”
“What does that mean?” I snap at her as Lilah yells from beside me, “What the fuck does that mean?” I run my hand through my hair, wanting to pull it out to stop her from hurting, to stop all of this.
“It means”—she takes off her gloves—“you are about to meet your child.”
The doctor comes into the room at that moment and looks around. “Hi, Lilah,” she greets us. “It’s a nice day to have a baby.”
“Is it?” Lilah asks her as more nurses come into the room now. My head is spinning as the sound of my heart beating in my ears gets louder and louder.
“Okay, Lilah.” The doctor’s voice snaps me out of it. “On the next contraction, I’m going to have you push. You are going to bear down and push like you are going to the bathroom,” she tells her. “Dad, you can hold one of her legs,” she instructs me, and I put my hand under her upper thigh. “Are we ready?”
“No,” Lilah whines, “it burns. It feels like it’s on fire.”
“Totally normal,” the doctor quickly states before I can even ask her. “And push,” she says, counting down from ten to one. “That’s good.” I look at Lilah, who looks like she is going to faint.
“She’s not okay,” I tell the doctor. “She’s pale.”
“It’s going to be over soon,” she counters, practically ignoring me. “Let’s go again, Lilah. You need to help bring your baby out.”
“I can’t,” she replies, sounding defeated, “I really can’t.”
I put my arm over her head on the pillow. “You can do this,” I encourage her. “I wish I could take it all away from you. I wish I could do it, but we both know you are stronger than me.” The tears run down her face. “I love you with every single fiber of my being, Lilah.” I kiss her lips. “You can do this.”
“Okay, we have another one coming,” the doctor cuts off our look. “Now, you’ve got to give me another big one,” she tells her, counting from one as Lilah closes her eyes and tucks her chin in as she pushes. It feels like she was pushing for an eternity before the doctor announces, “The baby’s head is out.” She puts a cover down on top of Lilah. “One more push and you can meet your baby.” The feeling in my chest is something I’ve never felt before. It’s a feeling that you think you can’t have. It’s the same feeling I got when I first held Lucy in my arms and she called me Daddy. Then again when Lilah told me she was pregnant, and a couple of times when I would feel the baby kick my hand away. It felt like little sprinkles of immense happiness running through me, until it’s so overwhelming that it feels like your whole body is going to implode. It’s past that, it’s in its own atmosphere. “Here is your baby,” she says, placing the baby on Lilah’s chest. “Congratulations, you have a son.”
Lilah wraps her arms around him as she cries out, “Oh my goodness.” She kisses his head. “My baby.” The emotions stick in my throat as the tears silently fall down as I wrap my arms around both of them.
“Dad,” the doctor calls to me, “do you want to do the honors of cutting the cord?” She holds the scissors in her hands as the baby now lets out a huge wail. “Good set of lungs.” I grab the scissors from her as she instructs me to cut between the two clamps. “Congratulations.”