Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
I listen to the water being turned off before I hear her voice. “We’ll get you washed off.” The sound of water splashing comes from the bathroom. “Then get you in bed, and tomorrow will be another day.”
The lump in my throat forms for a minute before Lilah comes out of the bathroom and looks at me. “Where are her pj’s?” she asks, and I look around the room, not sure where she put them.
“I have no idea,” I admit, getting up and going to the dresser to grab her one of the new pairs I bought her at the mall, when Lilah walks over to the bed and moves her pillow, finding her pj’s.
“How did you know?” I ask, and she just shrugs. “Is it a girl thing?”
“Maybe.” She shrugs again. “It could also be a habit she started with her mom.”
“You must think I’m an idiot,” I say, and she doesn’t disagree with me. “Who doesn’t know where their kid’s pj’s are?” I don’t know if I’m asking her the question, but she answers it for me anyway.
“Someone who just became a father and has no idea what he’s doing.” She gives me a soft, sad smile before walking back into the bathroom. “I found your pj’s,” she announces, and I hear the water sloshing, knowing she must be coming out of the bath and wondering if I should just leave the room. They don’t give me time to decide because Lucy comes walking back into the room wearing her pj’s, her hair wet but brushed back, her hand firmly in Lilah’s. “We didn’t wash her hair, but we did rinse it off in case there was dust in it,” Lilah states.
I nod, then look at Lucy. “I’m sorry, Lucy.” I try to say the words without my voice cracking but fail miserably. “I shouldn’t have lost my patience with you.” She stands beside Lilah, half her face hidden from me. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“Let’s get you in bed,” Lilah urges after a few minutes. “You’ve had an eventful night.” She walks with her to the bed and holds her hand as Lucy puts one leg in the bed and then lets go of her hand. She gets in the middle of the bed and pushes the covers down with her feet before getting under. “Good night, Lucy,” she says, leaning down and kissing the top of her head before moving away from the bed. “I’m going to wait for you outside,” she says and then motions me with her head to go and speak to her.
I nod as she walks out of the bedroom, leaving me alone with my daughter who hates me. I walk over and sit on the side of her bed as she turns on her side. “I shouldn’t have yelled before,” I say softly, “but you also shouldn’t have taken off.” She just looks at me. “You scared the living daylights out of me,” I say even though I’m not sure she cares. “I don’t ever want you to do that again.” She blinks her eyes. “I’d rather you yell back at me than not know where you are.” She doesn’t say anything to me, and now with this stunt, I’ll be lucky if she says anything to me in the next year. “I know it’s hard, and we’re both learning. But bottom line, I’m happy you’re here, Lucy.” I take a deep inhale and lean forward and kiss her head, exactly where Lilah kissed her. “Sleep tight, Lucy,” I say and get up, walking to the door. “And if you need anything, just call me.”
I turn off the light and close the door behind me but leave it open a crack. I walk to the living room and look around to see if Lilah is there. My eyes scan the room, and when I don’t see her anywhere, I walk out of the house and find her sitting on the step. She looks over her shoulder when she hears the door open. “Hey,” she says softly, “is she sleeping?”
“She’s lying in her bed,” I reply, stepping outside of the door and closing it behind me softly.
“What are you doing out here?” I ask.
“I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye,” she says and I shake my head as I sit on the step beside her.
“No, I meant, what are you doing outside?”
She looks over at me, rubbing her hands on her legs. “I—you never invited me into your home before, and I didn’t want to be where I wasn’t invited in.”
“Lilah,” I say.
“What happened to her mom?” she asks, and after tonight, she deserves to know what the fuck happened.
“I used to date her mom,” I explain and see something wash over her eyes, and she looks down at her hands on her legs. “It was casual and nothing.”