Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
The kiss I’ve been dreaming of, the kiss I’ve wished for on so many stars, is finally happening. It’s even better than in my dreams. It’s even better than I thought it would be. It’s a kiss I’ll remember for the rest of my life. It’s a kiss I would use my last lifeline to have again and again. His hand moves from my face into the back of my hair as he wraps it around his fist, turning my head to the other side and deepening the kiss. The moan escapes me at the same time I swallow his moan down. It’s as if this is the moment we’ve both been waiting for, but both of us are scared to take it. We moan as if we’ve been waiting for this moment for our whole lives.
Lost. That is the only word that comes to my mind. I was lost without him. Lost without his touch. Lost without his kiss. My hand is on his chest, pressed palm down, feeling the way his heart beats, making sure my heart beats the same way as his, afraid to move, but wanting to feel his hair between my fingers. My hand creeps up his chest, hoping this kiss lasts my whole lifetime. The kiss deepens, but there’s a softness to it. It’s almost like we both don’t want to push it, both of us scared of the other person pulling the plug on the kiss, leaving us both breathless.
I spend the whole kiss making sure I never forget it. I spend the whole kiss making sure I don’t fuck it up. I spend the whole kiss secretly telling him I’ve waited my whole life for this kiss without saying the words. My fingertips tingle when they touch the skin at his neck, moving to the side and up and onto the nape of his neck. His hair through my fingers feels like satin, soft and silky. His fist tightens even more in my hair, and I arch my back, pressing into him. The hardness of his chest makes my nipples tingle and get even harder, aching for him to touch me. The hand around my waist moves down to grip the swell of my ass, his fingertips digging into me and pulling me to him even closer. As I feel all of him, the moan crawls up my throat again. This time, the kiss deepens, and his tongue twirls frantically around mine. My tongue begs him for more, wanting to never stop this kiss. I feel his fist lessen the grip on my hair, and I want to beg him never to let me go. I can feel the kiss coming to an end, the dread rolling on me like high tide.
His tongue slowly slips out of my mouth, and my eyes flutter open to watch his every single movement. His eyes open right after mine. His hand moves off my ass, and the hand in my hair now drops to his side like dead weight. He takes one step back, giving us space. My hand falls from the heat of his chest, and the other falls from the back of his neck. My fingers tingle from his touch. “Lilah,” he says, and it feels like it’s pained. “Fuck.” His hand comes up to touch my lips before he comes back and kisses me again. This time, I savor it like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do. This time, the kiss is quick, like he wants to kiss me but something is stopping him from giving in to me.
I keep my eyes closed for longer than I should, and when I open them, I see him staring at me.
His eyes look blank, like he shut them down, and I have to get away from him. “I should go.” It’s a whisper, and when I walk away, I want him to grab my hand and pull me back, beg me not to leave. My body yearns for him like it’s never yearned for anything in its life.
I walk down the steps, focusing on walking and not tripping over my own feet. My knees are about to lock, making sure I don’t leave him. I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t turn around. I don’t want to turn around. I don’t think I could ever handle him telling me what a mistake this was. His mistake was my everything, and my heart can’t handle being told anything else. I get into the truck and start it with the keys that are still in it from when I got here.
Pulling away from him, I don’t even look in the rearview mirror. Instead, my hand comes to my lips. I can still feel his lips on mine. My heart doesn’t stop beating heavily as I pull out on the roadway, begging me to go back. But my mind pushes me farther away from him, knowing if I stayed, he would undoubtedly break my heart with his words. Or maybe he wouldn’t; maybe this would be a turning point for us.