Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
And then it happened. I felt his warm, wet flesh touch mine. My breath caught and he groaned, stopping for a few breaths and lifting his head to look into my eyes. His lips parted, eyelids heavy with slow blinks, as he ever so slowly moved a fraction of an inch, touching me in the most arousing way. I thought I might die, feeling him inside the crotch of my panties. It was wrong—so wrong. But I felt certain damnation was worth it because nothing had ever felt so good.
Ben made tiny movements, stroking my bare flesh with his as we gazed into each other’s eyes.
“Do you like that?” he whispered before softly kissing my lips.
I returned a tiny nod and felt him grin against my mouth.
“Do you want me to stop?”
I shook my head and accidentally moved my hips just enough that the head of his erection slid down instead of up.
He froze.
I froze.
It was there. Right. There.
“I can stop,” he said with tension to his voice.
Stopping was the smart thing to do. But I was on holiday break and so was my common sense and fear of God.
When I didn’t answer, Ben pushed down the front of his briefs, grabbed himself, and stroked me over and over until I was breathless, coming apart, and whispering “oh, oh, oh” over and over as I orgasmed. Then, just like he kissed me for the first time without warning, he pressed his erection inside of me.
I gasped, arching my back, as the waves of my orgasm started to subside.
“I’ll stop if it hurts too much,” he said then kissed my neck. “Okay?”
I nodded quickly and threaded my fingers through his hair. It didn’t hurt yet. All I felt was a clash of nerves and excitement mixed with a little fear. Ben moved slowly, each time pushing into me a little deeper. It felt good at first, but then it started to hurt. And maybe it would have hurt more with anyone else, even Matt. But love won.
I loved my best friend, and there was no one else I wanted more than him. And even if it wasn’t okay in God’s eyes or anyone else’s, feeling Ben inside of me, whispering such beautiful things in my ear, was by far the greatest moment of my life.
He made me feel beautiful.
Desired.
Cherished.
And I felt like a woman in every sense of the word.
“I love you,” I said.
Even if he couldn’t hear me, I hoped he felt my love. I closed my eyes and focused on that love more than the pain that came with a rite of passage.
He moved a little faster, and I bit my lip. It hurt, but it wasn’t awful. Nothing with Ben could ever be awful. He drew back, pulling out of me.
I looked at his tense face for a second before dropping my gaze to his hand as he stroked himself. What was happening?
Oh … my gosh.
He orgasmed on my stomach. My mind reeled. Why did he do that?
Then on a long exhale, he collapsed beside me. I didn’t move. How could I? His stuff was on me.
“Gabby …” he mumbled. “God, that was good.”
After a few breaths, he leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed his T-shirt, then he used it to clean up the mess on me.
“I don’t think we need a baby.” He gave me a sheepish grin.
I pressed my lips together and nodded before rolling out of bed to retrieve my clothes from the floor. Then I peeked into the hallway. When I didn’t see or hear anyone, I made a mad dash for the bathroom.
After cleaning up, dressing, and fixing my hair, I returned to his room. Ben was back in his jeans and a clean shirt, sitting on the edge of his bed. The anguish on his face pierced my heart.
I sat at his desk and wrote him a note.
That’s not the look I expected. You sure know how to make a girl feel like a regret.
Ben offered a barely believable smile. “I would never regret being with you.”
Then what’s wrong?
He furrowed his brow. “I’m not him.”
“Who?” I signed with a shrug.
“Matt.”
I frowned.
“Be honest.” He eyed me. “Can you say he’s no longer the man of your dreams?”
Matt and I are just friends.
“Yeah?” He laughed. “We were just friends too.”
I set the pen and paper aside then straddled Ben’s lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“I have nothing to offer you.” He broke my heart with those six words.
Where was my confident friend?
I pecked at his lips, keeping my eyes open. Then I sucked on his bottom lip, teasing it with my teeth.
Ben pulled away, but not without relinquishing a grin. “Did it hurt?”
I twisted my lips and shrugged while holding my thumb and index finger an inch apart.
“I’m sorry.”
I shook my head. Ben released a long sigh with worry lines on his forehead and indecision in his eyes. Why the agony? I took off my clothes. I did the thing. Eve would be proud. So why did Ben look tortured? What else could I have done, short of becoming Jesus and healing his body?