Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Gabby released me, but I didn’t want to let her go. Her hands slid up to my scruffy face, and she framed it, giving me her beautiful smile. Then she lifted onto her toes and kissed my cheek, letting her lips linger for more than a second. I grabbed her wrists to keep her there just a little longer. Then I let her go.
That was our painful destiny. Me letting her go.
After my parents loaded my stuff, I told them I was waiting for not only Gabby but Jason, too. I didn’t want to leave without thanking him for being there for me. So while I sat on the empty mattress staring at the door, my parents walked around the campus to take in the fall foliage. October in Michigan was a sight to see.
Way over two hours after Gabby headed to class, the door opened and I perked up only to deflate with disappointment when Jason dropped his bag onto the floor. But then Gabby walked in behind him.
I stood and smiled while handing Jason the note I wrote him. “I wasn’t sure I’d get to see you before leaving, so I wrote you a note.”
He nodded and read it.
Hi. I guess I’m deaf for now, so as you know I’m going back to Missouri. Thanks for being an awesome roommate and not letting me die.
Jason grinned. He turned the paper over and wrote a note back to me.
Thanks for not dying. That would have looked bad on a job resume. I hope you get your hearing back and return next semester.
I nodded.
He patted me on the shoulder and said something to Gabby. She grinned and said something back. I hated not being able to make out actual words or read their lips. After stuffing a few books into his backpack, he slung it over one shoulder and gave me a hug before leaving.
Gabby grabbed my notebook and sat down on the mattress. I sat next to her as she wrote:
I was waiting outside of your room for 45 minutes after knocking until my knuckles bruised. I guess you forgot you can’t hear and your door was locked.
Shit.
I cringed. “Sorry. I heard something, but I thought it was the guys next door playing loud music.”
Gabby’s nose wrinkled before she nodded and scribbled on the paper.
Where’s my note?
“You don’t get one. Am I talking too loud or too soft?”
She shook her head.
“Will you do me a favor?”
She nodded.
“Let me braid your hair?”
Tears filled her eyes like they did earlier, but she held them in and sat on the floor in front of me. I braided her hair, loosely ran my fingers through it to undo the braid, and did it again. I repeated this, relishing the way she melted into my touch, missing the sound of her humming like a cat purring. Occasionally, she’d touch her face, and I knew she was wiping tears.
Finally, she turned toward me on her knees with puffy eyes and a somber expression.
“Why the tears?” I asked.
She shook her head.
I framed her face with my hands. “Why the tears, Gabriella?”
Again, she shook her head.
I ducked my head, stopping a breath from her lips; she didn’t move away, so I kissed her. In the next breath, she jumped up and turned away from me.
My parents were back.
I stood, ignoring my mom’s scrutinizing gaze. Yes, I kissed Pastor Jacobson’s daughter. Yes, I kissed my best friend. Yes, I was miserable that everything that mattered to me was gone or about to be hundreds of miles away from me.
I was weak, deaf, and futureless.
Mom wrote Ready? on a sheet of paper.
Ready wasn’t the right word for what I was feeling. I nodded anyway.
Gabby held out her hand, and I took it as we followed my parents to the elevator. When we reached the parking lot, words I couldn’t hear were exchanged between Gabby and my parents. After they slid into the car, she hugged me again. I kissed the top of her head over and over.
She leaned back to see my face and mouthed a clear, “I’m sorry.”
I shook my head.
She rested her hands on my chest and her two index fingers came together to draw a heart. I wanted to say “I love you,” but why? I had nothing to offer her. I took her hands and pressed them to my cheeks one last time, closing my eyes and turning right, then left, to kiss her palms. Then, after one last hug, I opened the door and slid into the back seat.
Gabby put her hand on the outside of the window, and I pressed mine to the inside.
Panic raced through my body—panic over forgetting the sound of her voice, her giggles, and the way she called me by my full name when she was feeling goofy. She said the first part really slowly. “Buh-innn”—followed by a quick—“jamin.” I berated myself for wishing she’d shut up about Matt. If only I would have known how much I needed to cherish every word that left her beautiful mouth.