Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 63004 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 315(@200wpm)___ 252(@250wpm)___ 210(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63004 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 315(@200wpm)___ 252(@250wpm)___ 210(@300wpm)
“I was on the path to be valedictorian, and I wasn’t worried about getting scholarships. My grades were good enough to get into any school I wanted. My father had already told me there was no way he was paying my tuition. He had to pay for his own college, so I knew early on I’d also be on my own. I started saving babysitting money at thirteen, and all the money I made when I started my first waitressing job at sixteen.”
Her brows raised. “What happened?”
“The second semester of our junior year, I found out I was pregnant.”
I looked up to see her reaction to that. When there was none, I felt the vise around my chest loosen just a bit.
“I told Robert about the baby, and he was more concerned that it would ruin his chances of playing football more than anything. I’d already made the decision that I would give the baby up for adoption, and I told him that. He agreed, and we told his parents first. They were disappointed in us, but they said they’d help however they could, and agreed that adoption would be best for the baby, as well as for our futures.
“When I told my parents, they were furious. My father told me I was an embarrassment. That if any of his friends found out, he’d be ruined.”
“What?” Nellie asked, sounding horrified.
“I promised them I wouldn’t let the pregnancy show. I started wearing baggy clothes, and luckily, I wasn’t very big. The last month of my junior year, my father arranged for me to leave school early. He’s in politics, and I think he promised them funding, and the school decided that if I could pass all of my finals, they’d allow it. I did, and afterward, my parents basically put me in hiding for the summer. I went to a maternity home run by Catholic nuns, and I had the baby in August.
“My parents refused to pay for anything related to ‘my mistake,’ so Robert’s parents got a lawyer. They took care of everything. They paid the bills, the lawyer took care of the adoption. They even offered to let me live with them when I came home. By that time, though, Robert and I had grown apart. He told me that he’d fallen for another girl from our class while I was gone, though he hadn’t told his parents. So I thanked them for their generosity, and I stayed with my parents.
“Mom and Dad told me that the moment I graduated, their obligation to me would be over, and I’d have to leave. They were upset and angry that I hadn’t ‘gotten rid of’ the baby like they’d demanded, and had dared to risk their social standing. They had to make excuses for why I was absent at a few social and political events, you see.”
Nellie’s hand covered her mouth. “Oh, Vivianne. How cruel.”
“I did my best to stay out of their way that next year. Stayed at friends’ houses and kept my nose buried in my schoolwork. Robert accepted a scholarship to a college in Florida, and I chose a full academic scholarship to Colorado State.”
“That’s why you have two jobs? To pay for everything else?”
I nodded. The tears had finally stopped, and the weight of holding in my secret had lifted somewhat. “I’m terrified to tell Ladd. What if he thinks differently of me?”
“Why would he?”
“I was pregnant at seventeen and gave the baby up for adoption! I can’t imagine anyone wanting me after they learn something like that.”
Nellie took my hands in hers. “Vivianne, what you did was so brave and so loving. You gave your child the best chance he or she had, and I know that wasn’t an easy thing to do. You thought about your future, Robert’s, and the baby’s.”
“It was a girl. They didn’t even let me hold her,” I said as I wiped a tear away. “The nurse took her and immediately left the room. I never saw her, but I know I did the right thing for her. There was no way I could have raised her and given her the life she deserved. My father would have made both our lives hell, and I didn’t want to struggle trying to raise a child or make Robert feel like he had to give up his dreams.”
Drawing me to her, she hugged me tight. “You did the right thing at the time, Vivianne.”
As we broke apart, I took in another breath. “You’re the only person I’ve ever told.”
“Do you feel a bit better after telling me?”
I nodded. “You don’t think differently of me now?”
She let out a disbelieving laugh. “No, I do not. I think you were a young woman who found herself in a situation, and you did the right thing for you and the baby. You were strong and brave, and I’d honestly like to track down your parents and punch them both in the face.”