Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 63004 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 315(@200wpm)___ 252(@250wpm)___ 210(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63004 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 315(@200wpm)___ 252(@250wpm)___ 210(@300wpm)
I pointed to the coat on the bed.
“That’s perfect.”
I let out a nervous laugh. “I’m excited and nervous at the same time.”
She reached for my hand and gently squeezed it. “Somehow, I don’t think those tears are because you’re nervous about going riding.”
Pressing my lips together tightly, I shook my head, fighting back more tears.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she said, pulling me to her and wrapping me up in a hug that felt so gentle and loving, I lost the fight and the dam broke.
It wasn’t a soft cry; it was a full-on blubbering sob.
“Goodness, Vivianne. What has you so upset, sweetheart?”
I drew back and stepped away, trying to get my emotions under control. “I’m so sorry,” I said between sniffles. “I didn’t mean to break down like that.”
“Well, something…or someone…caused you to be upset. Did Ladd do or say something? I’ll give him a lashing myself!”
A half sob, half laugh came out. “No. No, it’s nothing like that.”
She took my hand and led me to the bed, and we both sat down. “We have a few minutes before the boys will need us outside. Would you like to talk about it?”
“It’s nothing.”
Nellie stood and went to the bathroom, returning with a few tissues. “I know nothing, and that cry was not about nothing. I do want to help if I can.”
I dabbed at my eyes. “It’s just…seeing your family and how much you all love each other. It’s…it’s beautiful. And I guess a part of me was just upset that I’ve never had that.”
“Ladd told us you don’t like to talk about your parents or your past, which I respect, but sweetheart, did your parents…did they hurt you?”
The lump in my throat felt like it was growing by the second, and if I didn’t speak now, I’d never be able to. “Not physically.”
She nodded, then waited patiently. I drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“Let’s just say they wouldn’t have won parents of the year.”
“Do you still speak to them?”
Panic started to grow, and even though every ounce of me wanted to tell Nellie everything, I had never told another soul. Not even Ladd.
“No. They, um…they disowned me as soon as I graduated high school.”
Her sharp intake of air caused me to close my eyes.
“I wasn’t exactly an innocent party.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I made the mistake of looking at her. Her eyes were filled with so much love and worry, and it broke me in two.
“I’m so afraid to say anything, Mrs. Wilde.”
“Nellie.”
I swallowed hard. “If Ladd finds out…if you knew the truth…I don’t think you’d want me in your son’s life.” I buried my face in my hands and started to cry again.
Her arm slid around my shoulders, and she drew me closer to her and simply let me cry for a couple of minutes.
“The way my son looks at you, I’d be hard-pressed to say he wouldn’t love you no matter what has happened in your past. And I was not put on this Earth to be judge and jury of anyone’s life. Well, except over my sons’.”
A small laugh slipped free. I slowly shook my head, then drew in a shaky breath. “It’s nothing I’m proud of, and I’m not sure if I should tell Ladd or not. I’m so torn up about it. I love him so much, and I couldn’t stand it if he thought less of me after I told him. I’ve never told anyone.”
She sat back and turned her body so she was facing me straight on. “I raised that boy, and I know for a fact that unless you told him you killed someone for the fun of it, there’s nothing you could tell him that would make him love you any less.”
I closed my eyes.
“Vivianne, if you decide to tell me, I’ll promise you right here and now that whatever you share will stay between us.”
Opening my eyes, I wiped my tears away. “You wouldn’t tell Ladd?”
She shook her head. “It’s your secret, darling. Not mine to share. But I can see it’s been a burden for you to carry. I’m here if you want to unburden that weight. We all have secrets, my sweet girl. But I have a feeling yours isn’t going to do the harm you think it will.”
My entire body shook as I breathed in. “I was in my junior year of high school. I’d been dating the same boy for over a year. He was a football player, and colleges were already looking at him, offering full scholarships for him to play for them.”
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. When I opened them, I stared down at my hands. I couldn’t look Nellie in the eyes and tell her what I was about to tell her.
“His name was Robert. I thought we’d get married after high school. He swore he’d always love me, and that we’d leave Colorado Springs together. That no matter where he went to college, he wanted me with him.