Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 101168 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101168 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
“But no drugs for you,” Veronica said and blew the smoke away from him.
“I don’t like weed,” Edgar said. “It makes me paranoid.”
That was an extreme understatement. The one and only time he’d tried smoking pot, he’d seen a ghost and been convinced that it was going to slide inside his skin and puppetize his body. Then for the rest of his life, he’d be trapped in there, conscious but unable to tell anyone because the ghost would have control. He had sworn a solemn oath on that day—the next morning anyway—never to touch another mind-altering substance.
And like most of the rules that Edgar made for himself, he followed it scrupulously, out of fear of the alternative.
“Great, more for us. Now spill.”
Edgar was unsure whether Jamie would want him to say anything yet. Unsure of what he would say. Where did they stand? What even were they?
“I… Maybe I’ll keep it to myself for now,” Edgar said. “But thanks. And sorry. For making you worry that I didn’t like you. Because I do.”
Helen had their arms wrapped around their torso like they were hugging themself in lieu of hugging him. They shivered with joy and leaned against Veronica. “Yay, he likes us!”
Veronica patted them on the head.
“Double yay: something to speculate about as soon as he leaves!”
Veronica raised an eyebrow and nodded.
Edgar turned to leave, then hesitated. “What is it exactly that makes me look like I’m about to cry? Or, um, puke?”
Veronica grimaced and said nothing.
“Just your face, basically. And your whole expression. Expressions. All of them. And your bearing and demeanor. Also your voice. And there’s a real funk around you like, if I could read auras, I bet yours would be whatever color funky auras are.”
Veronica closed her eyes slowly, but she didn’t seem irritated with Helen; she seemed to agree on such a deep level she didn’t want to admit it.
“Great. So everything about me.”
Helen made a finger gun at him. “Bingo. Ooh!” They turned to Veronica. “Should we do a bingo night?”
“Yes, absolutely. Queer bingo. Disco ball, queer shit as the boxes on the cards. Perfect idea.”
Edgar decided to take this opportunity to slink away.
“Come to bingo night!” Helen and Veronica both yelled at him as he walked back through the kitchen, eager to start his route and distract himself from how people perceived him.
14
Jamie
Jamie climbed the back steps to Edgar’s apartment, fizzing with anticipation. This stretch of Annunciation Street was quiet and unassuming, mostly residential, with a sandwich shop on the corner. The air smelled of muffulettas, sweat, and the magnolias that tented the sidewalk. The sun was setting, which meant the streets would soon come alive. After a busy week at work, without any time to connect with Edgar, they’d had to settle for memories of their night together in the hotel room. Now, Jamie couldn’t wait to make new ones.
The door swung open, golden hour light painting Edgar’s skin the color of honey, setting his eyes aglow.
“Hey. Come on in.” His voice sounded low and intimate, and Jamie could’ve gotten lost in his eyes. They followed him inside, relieved to be out of the oppressive heat.
“Hi. Hello. How are you?”
The intimacy in Edgar’s voice had been replaced by flatness, which Jamie associated with Edgar’s nerves. His vulnerability awoke a longing in Jamie. A deep, tangled desire to make Edgar certain of something. Certain of Jamie. They shivered despite the heat, remembering how Edgar’s eyelashes had fluttered when Jamie told him what to do.
Jamie took a slow, deliberate step toward Edgar. Edgar didn’t move. Jamie crowded him. Edgar sucked in a deep breath.
“Can I hug you?” Jamie said softly.
At Edgar’s nod, they leaned in and wrapped their arms around him. For a moment, Edgar froze; then he softened into Jamie’s touch. When his arms came up and he returned the hug, they melted together, chest to chest. Edgar’s arms were strong, his body warm and solid. He slowly squeezed Jamie tighter and closer, as if he wanted to absorb them into his own body, wanted them to never let go.
When Edgar’s palm cupped the back of Jamie’s head, caressing their hair, Jamie let out a deep sigh and burrowed their face more deeply into Edgar’s shoulder.
“I could stay like this forever,” Jamie said, only it came out like “Mcuhstayhmfrver” because of the whole nuzzling situation. They were pretty sure Edgar got the idea though, because he squeezed even tighter.
Jamie stroked Edgar’s back and shoulders and breathed him in.
“Do you want something to drink?” Edgar asked when they untangled.
“What’ve you got?”
“Oh. Um. Water?”
“I’d like water, then.”
Edgar did smile, Jamie was learning. It was a subtle tightening of the skin around his eyes and at the left corner of his mouth that they hadn’t initially noticed. A small, private smile that was for himself. The smile of someone used to being alone.