Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 101168 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101168 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
“She sends her love. She’s also back for a while. She’s doing her residency here.”
Edgar’s stomach leapt with excitement because he loved Cameron, then crashed at the realization that his squirmy guilt might mean he would be a nervous wreck any time he saw her.
“Wow,” was all Edgar could manage.
After they ate, soporific with pancakes and heat, they collapsed onto Allie’s bed.
“Do you ever talk to Lincoln?” Edgar asked.
“Absolutely not. If I’d known how quickly he’d bounce when he heard about the baby, I would’ve gotten knocked up sooner.”
“You’re not worried he might, I dunno, want custody later or something?”
Allie snorted. “No. He’s terrified of me now. I told him if he changes his mind down the line, I can command ghosts to haunt him.”
Edgar grinned. “So what’s the freak meter at today?”
Even though Allie saw ghosts just like Edgar did, her emotional and physical reactions to it were different.
Allie sighed, settling into the mattress. “It’s at a four today, but it was pushing seven yesterday.”
“You see something?”
She nodded. “I dunno, man. There are so many things you’re entirely responsible for when you have a baby. They don’t know anything about the world or life. They don’t know how to do anything. I’ll be filtering how they experience and understand the world and keeping them alive. But on the other hand, I have zero control over their brain, their feelings. Everything that makes them them is just a huge mystery. So even if they inherit…you know, is that the biggest thing that will affect their life? Probably not.”
Edgar frowned. “It’s the biggest thing that affects my life,” he said.
Allie was quiet, but they both knew her thoughts on the matter. That his problem wasn’t seeing ghosts but rather his reaction to seeing ghosts.
“Yeah. I know.”
Eight months ago, a knock on the door woke Edgar at midnight, and when he’d peered through the peephole, he’d seen a positive pregnancy test held up in front of his sister’s shocked face. He’d wrapped her in a blanket on the couch, put the pregnancy test in a plastic bag, in case for some reason she wanted it later, and made her a cup of tea.
“Do you know if you want to have the baby?” he’d asked, and she’d said she didn’t know. There were all the usual things to consider, but there was, of course, an added complication: knowing what she knew about their family and the likelihood that her kid would be able to see ghosts, did she want to bring them into the world?
They’d talked until the sun rose, by which time her answer was no. She’d scheduled an abortion, and Edgar had planned to take her. She’d had one two years previously and knew it was a great option for her.
But then she’d changed her mind. She’d been talking to their aunt and mentioned the burden that she wanted to protect her child from. Only Alaitheia had said, You think of this as a burden? For me, it is my greatest gift. And that perspective had changed everything for Allie. Not just about any future children but about her own experience with ghosts.
Edgar had always been envious of Allie. Her encounters were less startling than Edgar’s. For Allie, ghosts faded into visibility rather than bursting in. They were less detailed. But also unlike Edgar, Allie experienced the apparitions as having a clear desire—a reason for being there. And that distinction meant that she felt more empathy toward them and less fear.
When Allie told Edgar she’d decided to keep the baby, he had also sent up a silent promise: that if this new Lovejoy experienced ghosts the way he did, he would do everything he could to help prepare them so that they would never feel the terror that he lived with every day.
“Do you remember Poe’s first time?” Allie asked.
Edgar groaned. “Oh, man, that little punk. He was so casual about it.”
“Right?” Allie went on to speak in her Poe voice. “‘This is what you’re scared of?’” She grinned. “What a dick. If my kid is that much of a dick at age nine, can you please adopt it?”
“Absolutely not. I dislike children.”
“I know.” Allie reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “And even so, you’re still gonna help out. You’re such a gem. Hmm,” she mused. “Uncle Edgar. I like the sound of that.”
“I don’t. Can’t it call me Edgar?”
“Sure.” She squeezed his hand again. “Can we just take a little nap?”
“Yeah, sounds good. You’ll be the second person I shared a bed with in twenty-four hours…”
Allie jerked upright. “You what?!”
Edgar smiled tranquilly.
“Tell me every fucking detail, or I’ll tell my kid to call you Uncle Eddie.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“No. But you’ll tell me anyway, won’t you?”
And settling back into the soft pillows that smelled like his sister—rosemary and eucalyptus and the rich scent of old leather—he told her about Jamie.