Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“Well, I think a three-point-nine is pretty freaking great.”
“I thought so, too, until he rained on my parade. The next semester I had a four-point-oh though. Pleasing him was always my biggest motivator. Maybe because he was so hard to impress. Getting his approval always felt like a huge victory.”
He hung the shirt back on the rack and sat back with me on the ground. The nearness of his body was immediately all I could think about. I didn’t know how to feel anymore. On one hand, he’d closed the door on anything happening between us. On the other, he’d admitted he wanted to sleep with me. I really needed to detach from that glimmer of hope.
“Well, wherever your father is now, I’m certain he sees that the need for perfection was just the ego playing tricks.”
“You think he’s looking down with a different attitude?”
“I don’t know for certain, but I can’t imagine anything that happens here on Earth carries any weight when you get to the next phase of existence—certainly not perfect grades or money. I feel like superficial things are just tricks to see if we can overcome temptation and realize that the only important things are the people we care about.”
“I wish I could believe that. I still feel so imprisoned by the need to ensure that he’d be happy with me. As if he has nothing better to do than continue judging me from the afterlife.”
I nodded. “Ingrained beliefs are pervasive. Wanting to please your father is one thing. Making yourself sick in the process or feeling like even your best isn’t good enough is a losing game, though.”
Dorian shook his head. “How the fuck are you so wise at twenty-three?”
I shrugged. “I had to grow up fast when my mom died. When you’re alone, you have no choice but to find strength from within. You have to be your own biggest supporter, learn to talk to yourself a lot. I had to let go of the false beliefs holding me back because I no longer had the energy for them.”
“I wanna be you when I grow up.”
I smiled, my gaze wandering over to a sparkly, emerald green gown. The lighting made the sequins shimmer. I stood and walked over to it. “This is beautiful, huh?”
“You should try it on.”
I looked back at him. “Wouldn’t that be weird?”
“Not at all. Someone will end up wearing it. Why not you?” He stood and turned so his back was facing me. “Try it on and tell me when.”
The way he’d indirectly encouraged me to disrobe made my body come alive. Foolish.
And yet I listened, my nipples hard from merely his voice, the memory of his tongue on my skin all too fresh. After I pulled my crop top over my head, I kicked my pants off. Slipping into the silk-lined, beaded gown felt surreal. It was even heavier than it looked, practically weighing me down. I began to zip the back but couldn’t get it all the way up.
“It’s safe,” I said.
Dorian turned around and smiled. “You look absolutely magnificent in that dress, Primrose.”
I didn’t need to zip it all the way up, but I was a glutton for punishment who wanted to feel his hands on me, even for a moment, and even if that would be torture.
I cocked my head. “Do you mind helping me with the zipper?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Of course.”
Dorian took a few steps toward me and I turned around, giving him my back. The heat of his body made my skin prickle. As his hand slid up my spine to close the zipper, I shut my eyes, imagining that he was touching me for other reasons, imagining his tongue on my body again, this time drawing a line up my back.
“Sorry if I pulled your hair,” he said as the zipper snagged for a moment near the top.
“I don’t mind my hair pulled,” I blurted, wondering instantly whether I’d meant to be so suggestive.
Dorian cleared his throat as he finished zipping me up.
I turned to face him, all too pleased by the sight of his eyes traveling the length of my body. He might not have been touching me anymore, but his eyes devoured me. If they were any indication, he was second-guessing his decision to turn me down.
I moved over to look at myself in the floor-length mirror. “I’m a little curvier than she was. Shorter, too.”
Dorian stood behind me. “Nothing wrong with that.”
“Nothing the right bra and a good hem can’t fix, I suppose.” I brazenly pushed my breasts together, enjoying the way his Adam’s apple bobbed again.
He cleared his throat. “I think you should keep this gown.”
After a moment, I nodded. “Wearing it could be something to look forward to in the future.”
“Why in the future?”
“I don’t have anywhere to wear this now.” I turned to him. “But maybe if my art sells big someday, and I get invited to some fancy gala, I can wear it.”