Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66518 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66518 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
“You’re so suspicious!”
That wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t like he was going to confess to whatever was currently lying in wait for me. “I’m gonna head out,” I said, “and I’m not sure what time we’ll be back. It all depends on whether or not Hal feels like going to a club after dinner.”
“No hurry. I’ve got everything under control.”
“I know you do. The dogs are clean, by the way, so please don’t let them roll in anything while I’m gone. And don’t let them guilt you into giving them a bunch of people food when you eat dinner. Sally’s got a sensitive stomach, and I want this to be a barf-free zone.”
“You act like I’ve never watched them before. I’ve got this! Now, go get your man.”
“I’m going. Thanks for your help, Tank.”
“Any time.”
I jogged down the stairs and circled around to the side of the house, where my old pickup truck was parked. I’d washed it and vacuumed it out for Hal’s visit, but it wasn’t the most attractive thing in the world. It had originally been light blue, but now at least half of it was rust colored.
Something in the truck bed caught my eye, so I went to take a look and sighed. Tank had painted the words “anal lube” in big letters on a metal barrel. It was on its side and anchored to the truck bed with the straps I used to hold down bales of hay.
I quickly discovered he’d done something to jam the release mechanism on the latches, so I couldn’t unfasten them. When I yelled, “Damn it, Tank,” he burst out laughing and appeared at the end of the porch with his phone, so he could film me struggling.
“I told you I was going to help you get ready for Hal’s visit,” he said. “Do you think fifty-five gallons of lube will be enough?”
“I can’t believe I asked you to look after things this evening. It’s like leaving the monkeys in charge of the circus.”
Tank kept filming and started rambling. “I’ve never heard of a circus with monkeys. Elephants and lions, sure, but never monkeys. What would they even do? I mean, I suppose you could dress them in little clown costumes, that’d be pretty cute. But then what? Which skills do monkeys bring to the table? Sure, they could do the high wire, but that’s not challenging for them, so I don’t think people would pay to see that.”
After a minute, I gave up on freeing the barrel. Instead, I grabbed the rim and twisted it, rotating the words to the bottom and hiding them from view. Tank lowered his phone and muttered, “I should’ve painted both sides.”
I shot him a triumphant smile as I brushed my hands together. “Imagine what it’d be like if you used your powers for good instead of evil,” I said. “You could be Batman, but instead, you choose to be the Riddler.”
He pretended to be offended as I climbed into my truck and started the engine. “Hey now. You could at least call me the Joker.”
I rested my elbow on the frame of the open side window and asked, “Is the Joker better than the Riddler, somehow?”
“Of course. He’s way better.”
“Why?”
“He’s got flair!”
I fought the urge to ask follow-up questions. Instead, I called, “See you soon,” and put the truck into gear.
On the drive to town, my nervousness dialed up another notch or two. Hal was spending his entire week off with me, from Friday evening to the following Sunday. What if he was unhappy at the ranch? I was fully aware that we lived in two very different worlds. Now he was about to immerse himself in mine, and I had no idea how that was going to go.
Also, what if he wanted to talk about the future? If we weren’t on the same page, that could ruin everything right there.
I worried all the way to the airport. Moments after I cut the engine in short-term parking, a message from Hal popped up: My connecting flight out of Phoenix is running late. Looks like I’ll be arriving at 8 instead of 6.
Served me right for getting here so early. That had been motivated by worry, too. I’d wanted to make sure I got here without my ancient truck breaking down, or some other disaster getting in the way. As nervous as I was, this had to be twice as hard for Hal. I really wanted everything to go smoothly for his sake, and that started with making sure I was waiting for him when he landed.
I replied: No problem. I’m planning to take you to dinner when you get here, but it’s not the kind of place that takes reservations, so it’s all good.
Well, great. Now I had even longer to sit around and stew in my anxiousness.