Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 72494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 290(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
That got a laugh from the sexy man and he nodded. “Alright, but you know, if you wanted to make this Dom very happy, asking if it would be okay would’ve made my night.”
My face went so red it hurt but he managed not to laugh. I had no idea how to respond to that, so I simply focused on the bottle of water in front of me and was careful so he didn’t think I was a complete idiot who couldn’t even drink safely.
When the bottle was back on the table and I’d gotten a moment to think, I took a deep breath. “Why would that make you happy?”
I could see he didn’t understand the question, so I forced myself to explain where I was coming from. I could do this. Just because he always made me stupid didn’t mean I was always ridiculous.
Trying to treat it like I was explaining something at work, I kept my voice professional as I explained where I was coming from. “All my life I’ve been told that I’m weak for second-guessing decisions and that a real man or even just a real grown-up would be able to make a decision and do what needs to be done. My father calls me dramatic.”
Bex’s expression darkened and I could see he understood what that one word implied, but his tone was even and gentle when he finally spoke. “That’s a bunch of bullshit right there. If everyone were supposed to be Type A leaders who did things on their own, the world would fall apart.”
I had to smile as he rolled his eyes.
“We’re not solitary creatures and there’s nothing wrong with finding a lifestyle that makes you feel safe and confident.” Shaking his head like he’d heard it before and still thought the idea was stupid, he sighed. “That applies to almost anything that makes you happy and makes you content in life.”
He seemed to be on a roll because he gestured to himself. “Take me for instance. I’m about ninety percent gay and ten percent hmm, that’s interesting, and I’m a Dom, and a Handler, and I’ve got a thing for twinks.”
He winked, making me blush again. I probably looked ridiculously embarrassed, but his smile was sexy, and even I could see he thought my blush was cute.
I’d definitely taken after my mother’s build, and while that looked good on a sweet blonde girl in high school, it looked odd on a technically grown man. It was another thing my father kept making little comments about, although they’d mostly stopped because he’d finally realized there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.
I wasn’t sure who’d pointed out that he should only criticize me for things I could actually control but I was grateful…kind of.
“God only knows I’ve got issues. I mean, look at my family.” He tried to play it off with a teasing grin, but I could see the shadows in his eyes that said he struggled with them. “But you shouldn’t feel bad about who you are.”
“I feel a bit like you should be listening more closely to the lecture you’re giving me.” Focusing on him was definitely easier and it got me a slightly sheepish grin from him.
“I plead the Fifth.” As I laughed, he shrugged and smiled. “Right now, I’m helping you. That’s much easier than thinking about me.”
I huffed. “I know.”
Because I’d been thinking the exact same thing.
“Alright, come on. Tell me about you.” His wicked grin had a bit of a dare in it, and I had a feeling I was seeing some of his Dom side peeking out. I hadn’t realized how careful he’d probably been around me until that moment, and it left me wondering what he’d do if he weren’t so gentle all the time.
The bartender’s information on safewords came back to me, but I knew I didn’t need that. I just needed to figure out where my confidence had wandered off to. It’d helped me make it to the bar but it seemed to have vanished.
“Um, well. I’m gay.” That wasn’t hard but it left me wondering what his ten percent answer meant and if that’d somehow created the mixed-up rumor about him dating Amanda. “Before starting at the bookstore, I would’ve said I was just regular gay. Nothing fascinating or even that interesting.”
I wasn’t stupid. I knew there were lots of things that people were into but I’d never been brash and loud. I’d never been curious about feminine things or anything else I’d seen people talk about online. I’d just been boringly date-dudes gay.
I was starting to second-guess that description, though.
Bex managed not to smile but I could see the laughter in his eyes. He was second-guessing that description too. “And after working at the bookstore?”
That was more difficult.
“Is I don’t know a real answer?” Looking around the bar, I tried to sit straighter and aimed to appear confident but I wasn’t sure it worked. “I’ve been doing research about some of the things I heard and I was hoping to…I honestly don’t know why I’m here but it seemed like the logical next step.”