Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
“However,” Rome cut in, “if it turns out you’re gay or bi or what have you, I don’t recommend living your life in the closet about it. Not saying that you march in the next Pride parade or wear rainbows every day, but also don’t deny it. You’ll be happier if you embrace it.”
“Whatever it happens to be,” I muttered under my breath.
“Exactly.”
Was I gay? I’d been married to a woman for four years. Not that something like that counted as a clear-cut reason to be straight or bi. Had I loved her? I thought so. Had I been attracted to her? Yes. I knew I was attracted to women in general.
But guys…
“Can I ask, did this come completely out of the blue for you?” Rome inquired softly.
“I…don’t know. I mean, I can look at a guy and recognize that he’s attractive. Like your friends are all obscenely hot. There should be laws against that many attractive people being in one spot.”
Rome choked on a laugh, but it stopped quickly. “Okay, but only Pierce and Simon are single. Plus, you’re not allowed to look at them anymore.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Just because I think they’re attractive, I didn’t immediately think, ‘Damn, I need a piece of that.’ They’re simply hot guys.”
“Do you usually think that each time you see an attractive woman?”
“No. Personality plays heavily into whether I’m interested in a person. Like a smart person becomes hotter the more I talk to them because of the joy I get out of having an intelligent, engaging conversation. People who challenge me intellectually are attractive.”
“You sound demisexual to me, but I’m no expert.”
“What about you? You said you’re pan. How the fuck did you figure that out?”
Rome shook with silent laughter. “Pretty much like that.”
“Huh?”
“Fucking.”
I groaned. “Slut.”
“Hey! We don’t slut-shame!” Rome shouted, half-joking and half-serious.
“Sorry.”
“So, in middle school, I figured out I liked girls. That was easy. Everyone assumes boys like girls. After I kissed you, I learned that I also liked boys. For me, it’s pretty even. I’m attracted to both roughly the same. It’s not like that for all bisexuals. Some can be seventy percent girl attraction and thirty percent boy attraction, but you’re still bi. Anyway”—he waved a hand in the air as if trying to brush aside his digression—“after I finished college, I dated someone who identified as nonbinary. What they wore often changed according to how they felt that day. That relationship made me realize I was defining my sexuality too narrowly, so I revised it to pansexual. I’m attracted to beautiful, thoughtful, fun, kind, smart people.”
My stomach churned as I asked, “And your parents?”
Rome shrugged. “Don’t care. Wear a condom. Be safe. Watch your back. Don’t get married without a prenup. The usual shit. My mom is super supportive and asks a lot of questions out of curiosity. My dad is supportive, but you can see that he doesn’t understand it.”
“What about Sydney? You always seemed really close to your cousin.”
“Only because she was constantly around. But she’s fine with it all.”
“Is she…”
“Oh my God, she’s so fucking vanilla. Straight. Married to a very straight white man. Thankfully, he’s a liberal, or she would have kicked his ass to the curb long ago.” Rome sank a little lower on the sofa, his brow furrowing in thought. “She presents this totally normal, average, straight exterior to the world. I wonder if Sydney and her husband are super kinky in bed. Like the whole sex dungeon thing with swings, floggers, bird masks, and leather assless chaps.” He stopped and shuddered hard. “Ew. Why did my brain go there?”
“Because you’re demented.” I chuckled. My head dropped to the side so that I was staring at him. These cute wrinkles formed at the corners of his eyes whenever he smiled. And now that we’d kissed, I had the craziest desire to touch those lines with my fingertip. “Bird masks?”
Rome threw up his hands and huffed. “I don’t know. BDSM, tying people up, and all the super-kinky stuff really isn’t my scene.”
“What’s your scene?” I whispered.
My oldest and newest friend turned his head toward me and instantly captured my mouth in a soft kiss that heated on the second pass. This time, I didn’t hesitate. I jumped in, losing myself in the caress of his tongue, the pressure of his lips as they moved against mine. Even the bristle of his beard was interesting, adding its own unexpected allure to the mix that got my heart racing.
Sure, the act of kissing was the same, but there was also something different about it. Rome was more forceful this time. For a moment, I fought him for control, which was fun, but it wasn’t until I relinquished that control, let him take the wheel, that a moan slipped from me. The rush of pleasure was a heady, intoxicating thing. I didn’t want it to end. Fuck, I wanted more.