Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry.”
My head jerked up, and I roughly wiped aside the tears that were trying to escape. “What?”
Liam pushed out of his chair and crossed to pull a couple of tissues from a box on one of the bookshelves before flopping on the couch next to me. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, handing the tissues to me. “I shouldn’t have said that you ruined my life. You didn’t. You were a stupid kid who kissed another stupid kid he liked. Kisses like that don’t ruin lives. You didn’t mean any harm. If anyone ruined my life, it was my mom and her homophobia. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized how sick in the head she was. I got some friends who are gay and trans. Realized they’re normal people trying to live their lives. The only thing I’ve wanted to know was why you did it. For days afterward, I expected you to sneak to my house and explain what happened. I clung to the idea that if you could explain it to me, everything would go back to normal or at least be better. But you never showed up. When I hit college, I actually wondered if maybe you were gay and I was your first crush. Did I fuck you up by rejecting you?”
“Shit, Liam.” I had to hide my face in my wadded-up tissues. After what he’d gone through, he wasn’t allowed to be worried about hurting me. “If you keep saying nice things, I will kiss you again.”
“Um…”
“No. Sorry. Bad joke.” Tightening my fist around the damp tissues, I sat up straighter when I looked at him. “No, you didn’t fuck me up. My mom sat me down and asked me what I was thinking. I told her honestly that I didn’t know. I was figuring things out, and she was fine with that. But she warned me against going anywhere near you or trying to contact you. She said your mom would have me arrested, and I didn’t want to make things worse. I always thought you’d try to contact me after your mom cooled off.”
“And that was it? She didn’t freak out or panic?”
I shook my head, feeling worse for him because our experiences were so different. “No, she told me to be careful and always check to be sure any affection would be welcome.” I suddenly groaned as a new memory sprang forth. “God, the sex talk from my dad. He explained both vaginal and anal sex. You could tell that he read books about this. It sounded like a school lecture. So fucking uncomfortable.”
A choking noise came from Liam, and I glanced over to see him covering his mouth as if he were trying to stop a cough, but really, he was choking on a laugh. His pale face was suddenly bright red.
Reaching out, I shoved his shoulder before flopping back on the sofa. “Asshole.”
Liam burst out laughing. The jubilant sound filled the room and bounced down the halls. He collapsed on the couch next to me, his shoulder brushing mine. The scent of wine, pizza sauce, and something woodsy danced past my nose, and I happily breathed it in. I waited, happily sitting there, listening to his laughter. I wanted him to laugh about this after what he’d gone through. It wasn’t fair. He hadn’t done anything. Yeah, it had hurt when he’d pushed me away, but I understood his panic better now. Understood that his panic was completely justified.
“Sorry,” Liam mumbled after his giggles subsided.
“I’m sorry you went through that.”
“I’m sorry I spent so much time mad at you and thinking you fucked up my life on purpose.”
I rolled my head along the cushion so I could look at him, half of my mouth tilted up in a smirk. “Sorry I spent so much time pissed at you because I felt like you’d betrayed me to your mom. Stupid me, I thought you’d say something like it was a joke. Something to have my back. When you pushed me, I was so confused…and hurt.” I wanted to mention that I thought he’d started to kiss me back, but now I was doubting myself. Was I remembering it correctly? Had it really happened that way, or was it just wishful thinking?
Liam swallowed hard. “I panicked. Rome, I’m sorry I hurt you. We were closer than I was with my own stupid brothers. I shouldn’t have pushed you. It might have gone better if I had said it was a joke. I just…panicked.”
“Now that I know, I don’t blame you. Fuck. I probably would have done the same thing.”
Liam’s brow furrowed as his eyes narrowed at me. “So…now that we’ve finally talked about this, does it mean…that we’re actually friends now?”
My smirk turned into a full-blown grin. “I think it does. But…”