Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
He shrugs.
“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t talk you into doing something you don’t want to do.”
“You didn’t. I would have gone because deep down I’m still that little fucking boy who wants his father’s attention, who wants to make him proud.”
My heart breaks for him, but I feel so honored it’s me in this car with him right now, that it’s me he shares these things with. “Cut yourself some slack. You feel things. You love your family and want to be loved by them. We all want that.” I reach over and place my hand on his thigh. Cillian grabs and lifts it, pressing his lips to my palm before putting it in place again.
We chat about school and everyday things for the rest of the drive. Aislin and Rory are riding with Dean and Tiernan—I think they purposefully left Cillian and me alone because…because in a strange way, Cillian needs me. He’s said as much over and over, but words and actions are two different things. I see it in times like this—me, the boy no one else ever really wanted. The nerdy guy who cared more about school than a social life or friends. The one who used to let Tiernan kick me out of my own dorm room and who got beat up because I couldn’t defend myself…but I am who Cillian needs. I’m who he goes to. No matter how much he loves those people in the other car, it’s me here with him, and that means something to me. I will never, ever let him down. Just like I know he will never let me down.
I stare open-mouthed when we pull into a driveway with a locked gate in front of the house. Cillian rolls his window down and presses a code into the keypad before the black iron slides open.
“Holy crap. You didn’t tell me you lived in a mansion.”
He chuckles. “It’s not a mansion.”
“It looks like one to me. Jeez, Cillian. I hope you don’t expect anything close to this when you go home with me.”
“This doesn’t fucking matter. This is all show. I don’t give a fuck about things like this. I care about you. About them.” He nods toward Tiernan’s car. “I care about how it feels to watch you laugh and talk with your father on the phone like he’s your best friend. Those things matter more than a house ever will.”
I know that, I do, but… “I mean, it’s kinda cool, though.”
Cillian chuckles. “Not gonna complain, that’s for sure.”
We smile at each other, neither getting out of the car. Honestly? I’m scared out of my mind, but I don’t want to be. “I’m a little freaked out,” I admit. There’s no reason to have lies between us.
“I know. Nothing will happen to you. They’re not going to hurt you.”
“Then why did you tell me to stay by your side the whole time?”
He shrugs. “Because I like you there.”
I roll my eyes, but how does a guy not swoon a little at that? “Will the others stay here too? Tiernan’s mom is close, right?”
“He’ll want to go see her. He typically stays there, but then, we usually all do. Rory will stay here for sure, but I have a feeling Tiernan and Dean will as well. I’m not sure about Ash.”
I nod, and Cillian leans in. He cups my face with a gentleness I know he only has with me and presses our lips together.
“We doing this?” he asks.
“We’re doing it.” I turn, open the door, and see a man standing on the porch. He’s wearing slacks and a button-up shirt, like Cillian and Tiernan often do. He has his hands in his pockets, brown hair like Cillian’s, only his is slicked back. He’s tall and broad, looking both like a dignified businessman and, well, a stone-faced killer.
I immediately feel the air in the vehicle thicken, Cillian’s tension rolling off him in waves.
And maybe…maybe he also doesn’t want me to leave his side for himself, and not just for me.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him.
“I know. Let’s get this over with.”
He gets out of the car, and I do the same. The others are waiting, letting Cillian lead the way because that’s what they do, isn’t it?
I take Cillian’s hand, proud to be a part of this, a part of them, even if it’s in my own way.
“How was the drive?” Rian asks, to no one specific. Not to his son, I notice, but I have a feeling he wants it to be directed at him.
“Same as always,” Tiernan answers. “Is this going to become a thing? Are we trying to pretend we’re a normal family now?”
“You act like we never spend holidays together. Regardless of…many things, we are a family.”
Cillian scoffs beside me.
Rian looks at him. “Do you have something to say?”