Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Rory and I head back to my dorm, and he waits while I pack up my things. The whole time, I’m thinking about Cillian. I’m angry he lied to me, but I know in his own way, it’s because he cares. Is that me making excuses for him? I don’t want to be that kind of guy, and also, how much can he care since he also made sure to stress this is just about sex?
“You ready?” Rory asks, and I realize I’m just standing there staring.
“Yeah.”
I wonder what happened with his father today. Cillian seems so carefree about so many things, like emotions don’t factor into many of his decisions, but I know they do with his dad. I could feel it the one and only time we talked about him.
Rory leads me to a car, which I recognize as Cillian’s. We make the short drive to their house, Rory sucking incessantly on his vape.
“Sorry. Lost my fidget spinner,” he says, and I wave him off. I’m not in the mood to complain right now.
“Is Cillian home?”
“He’s out with Tiernan. They’ll be back in a little while. Dean and Aislin are there.”
I nod, trying to internally deny the stab of disappointment I feel that Cillian isn’t home. Is he okay after whatever happened with his dad? Does Tiernan have him out doing things he shouldn’t be out doing, especially when he’s feeling down? I shift uncomfortably at the thought—not only about what he could be doing, but at Tiernan. With the way Dean cares about him and how Cillian would do anything for him, there must be something good in him that I don’t see, but honestly, I have my doubts.
I get out of the car and go to grab my bags, but Rory grabs one himself and hands me the other. “Thanks.” I hate the feeling of discomfort weighing down at the back of my neck at the thought of being here without Cillian. He shouldn’t make me feel safer or more comfortable, but he does. Dean should probably be the one to give me that feeling—since he’s my friend and we lived together last year, even if sporadically after Tiernan came into the picture—but instead, it’s Cillian whose presence soothes me.
I walk beside Rory up to the house. He presses a code and opens the door. “Do you want to smoke a bowl?” Rory asks.
“No. I told you I don’t smoke weed.”
“More for me.” He sets my bag down and turns toward the living room. Dean is sitting on the couch with Aislin.
“Hey. What’s up? You can set your bag down and sit,” Dean tells me, and I do, taking one of the armchairs.
“I’m going upstairs. Let me know if you need anything,” Rory tells me, and I feel a strange twinge at him leaving. Being close to him feels safe because of his relationship with Cillian.
“We’ve been around each other but never been properly introduced. I’m Aislin.” She holds her hand out to shake.
“Ollie.”
“Though I hear it’s Kitten to Cillian. That’s what Rory says, at least.” She smiles, and like happens too often around this group of people, my cheeks heat.
“It’s just a…thing.” It’s the only excuse I can think of.
“Do you know anything about being with girls?” Dean asks me.
My eyebrows nearly shoot to the ceiling. “Huh?”
“Women. Have you ever dated one? I don’t know much about your sex life. Ash is talking to this girl for the first time. She’s asking me for advice, and not only do I have zero experience with girls, I also suck at having conversations like this.” Dean rubs a hand over his buzzed hair.
“You’re better than you think,” she tells him, then looks at me and makes a funny face as if to say he’s not.
I chuckle. While I like Dean a lot, I can’t really see him as someone who is super easy to talk to.
“You would think it would be easier to talk to girls, since I am one, but we’re just as confusing as boys.”
I give her a shrug and a smile. “I’m gay. I’ve never even kissed a girl, but I can still try to help.”
“Really? Awesome! It’s this girl from one of my classes—Zuri. We talk in class a lot. We’ve even started texting, but I’ve asked her to meet up twice—once for coffee and once for lunch—and both times she’s been kinda cagey about it and said no. I don’t know how to tell if she’s interested or not. Does she even realize I’m trying to date her?”
“I assume asking her if she’s interested is out of the question?”
“Oh my God! Yes. At least right now. This is all kinda new for me. I haven’t dated girls before, but I’m interested.” She changes positions on the couch, pulling her long, black hair over her shoulder. “I just don’t want to mess something up…or push her away if she’s not interested in anything other than friendship. It’s hard to make friends for…well, reasons. I think that’s why I clung to him the way I did.” She points to Dean with her thumb.