Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
He heads to the barn, and ten minutes later, he’s walking out, dusting his hands off. He’s wearing his blue jeans and a long-sleeved blue jean shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He takes five steps before he must feel my eyes on him.
When he looks up, he stops mid-step. I can see he hasn’t slept. His eyes are dark, and he looks exhausted. “What are you doing here?” he asks when he gets to the bottom step, and I walk over to him, looking down at him.
“Were you just going to let me go that easily?” I fold my arms over my chest, wanting nothing more than to feel his heat under my fingers, touch him, hold him. Be in his arms where I belong.
“What are you talking about?” he says, and I can see his fingers twitching.
“I’m talking about you not giving me a chance to say anything to you.” I swallow the lump. “You just walked away from me.” He shakes his head and looks over to the side. “After you said you wouldn’t leave me, you did just that. You left me.”
When he looks back at me, the look takes my breath away, just like it did when he told me his story. “I saw it all over your face.” I take a step back. “You were disgusted by me.”
I hold up my hand to stop him from talking. “I wasn’t disgusted by you. I was sad for you, and then I was mad for you. Then, well, then I just wanted to knock you on your ass. If only you knew.”
“Knew what?” he asks softly.
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter, does it? If you can walk away from me so easily. What does it matter?”
“I never left you except for this morning when Charlie and Casey came to take you home.” His confession shocks me. “I was in the waiting area the whole time. I couldn’t sleep next to you, but I wasn’t leaving that fucking place without you.” I have to swallow down the lump in my throat. “Lilah.” My name is on his lips like he’s pained.
“Don’t fucking Lilah me!” I yell and then wince when the skin pulls. He takes a step up, and I stop him. “No, I’m not done. If only you fucking knew how safe I felt with you. If only you fucking knew how strong you are. If only you knew how caring and nurturing you are. If only you saw what I see, what we all see. Charlie loves you like a brother, and I know that when push comes to shove, you would die for him. All of the men look up to you, not because they have to but because they know that whatever happens, you have their back. Who shows everyone respect. Who is reliable and kindhearted, but more importantly, someone who protects the people he loves with everything he has.” I put my hand on my stomach.
“Can we do this inside?” he suggests. “You can lie down.” I want to say no, that we are going to do it right here, but my body is giving out on me.
“Fine,” I retort, and he walks up the stairs and stops in front of me, and I smell his musky smell.
“Let’s get you inside,” he urges, slipping his hand in mine. We walk inside, and I see the blankets thrown on the couch.
“What happened?” I point, my curiosity getting the best of me.
“I slept there.” He walks over to the couch to move the blankets. “I’ve been sleeping here since you left.”
“What?” I watch him turn toward me.
“Couldn’t sleep in that bed without you.” I close my eyes. “It was torture.”
“You did that to yourself,” I remind him, and he nods, agreeing.
“I did,” he agrees.
“Do you love me?” The question is the biggest question I’ve ever asked him. It’s the question that I’m holding my breath for. The question I have to know the answer to.
“Didn’t know what love was before you,” he admits. “No idea, had no fucking clue what love was, and then you showed up, and I fought it.” He looks down. “It’s loving you that’s helped me be the father I am.”
“That’s a good fucking answer.” I smile through the tears. “I have something to tell you. Something that Sammy did that I didn’t know.”
His hands ball into fists. “That motherfucker,” he hisses out.
“Pretty much but—” I swallow. “He wanted me to have his babies.” His face pales. “No, he didn’t touch me like that.” He exhales a sigh of relief. “But he switched out my birth control,” I start saying, and his eyes go big, and his hand goes to his mouth. “I had no idea until today.” I can’t stop talking. “Doctor came out and said something about prenatal vitamins,” I tell him the story, and his ass falls to the couch, and then he springs up onto his feet.