Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
I chew the inside of my lip as I search his eyes. “I don’t want to take you down with my drama.”
“You won’t. I’ll keep you afloat.”
My lip starts to wobble. “It’s so damn messy.”
“I don’t ever want to be clean, then,” he promises, his eyes sure.
“Like, we belong on Jerry Springer messy.”
He grins and chants, “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.”
I smack his chest, and he captures my hand, bringing the tips of my fingers to his warm lips. His eyes are trained on mine. “Just give us a chance.”
A tear slides down my cheek, and he looks physically pained by it. His eyes move from the tear to my eyes, and I ask, “Can we keep this just between us for a while?”
He shakes his head. “I will do just about anything for you, but I can’t do that.”
I thread my fingers with his as I fight off a grin. It doesn’t work, and his eyes narrow a bit. “How very Meatloaf of you.”
He glares. “I’m being serious.”
“He was too. I mean, he sang from his damn soul.”
He bites my finger, and I shriek in delight. His smirk is unstoppable, and while this moment is heavy, I love how playful and beautiful we are together. I step in closer, leaning on our hands that are clasped together at his mouth. Our noses touch, and I lock eyes with him as I ask, “Please?”
“Kenni—” His voice cuts off when a tear runs down my cheek. I swallow hard, and he lets out a long sigh.
“I need to talk to Missy, and we need to figure out how to tell the kids. Just till I get all this divorce shit done.”
“I don’t want to hide, Kenni.”
“I don’t either,” I stress, taking my free hand to trace the emblem of the firehouse on his chest. “But even though I know I should walk away, I can’t.”
“You could walk away, Kenni. Go figure everything out. But know I’ll be right there.” My nose burns from my tears. “I won’t push you or beg for your time. I’ll be there for you. Fuck, Kenni, I’ll always be there for you.”
He threads his fingers through my hair, and I lean into his touch while our foreheads rest against each other’s. I close my eyes, breathing him in as the night sky surrounds us in such warm comfort. The insects are singing, the lightning bugs are flying, and I’m fully engrossed in this man.
“What do you want, Dean?” I whisper, almost scared to voice my question. “What does this thing between us look like to you?”
He kisses my left cheek. “You in my house.” He kisses my right cheek. “You in my bed.” He kisses my nose. “You by my side.” He kisses my top lip and then the bottom, and slowly, his lips move along mine as he says, “To make you happy every single day.”
Our eyes flit back and forth together as the heaviness of his words hits me like a ten-thousand-pound boulder. My heart beats in tandem with his, my chest rising and falling against his before my eyes slowly drift shut. The soft melody of “Don’t Mind if I Do” by Riley Green and Ella Langley fills the air, and without realizing it, we’re swaying. It’s not like how we danced at the bar or how we did when we were kids. No, this feels much more raw.
He has one hand in my hair, while the other is wrapped around one of mine against his chest. I hold the belt loop of his cargos as we sway, two souls lost in the lyrics that touch every fiber of our beings. The longing in the song, the pining… Jesus, he’s right. These songs could be our love songs.
I get lost in the greens and blues of his eyes as I sing the last chorus to him, fighting for breath when he mouths the words right back to me. As the melody ends, I tell him what my heart desires.
“I want you, Dean.”
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
Dean
Kenni doesn’t have to tell me twice.
I tug her with me as I open the door to my truck, grabbing the box of condoms I bought on my way to work. I shake them at her, and her laughter is intoxicating as I pull her into the station.
“We can’t do this here!” she whisper-yells, and I give her a look that leaves no room for discussion.
“We can, and we will.”
She doesn’t put up a lick of a fight as I hustle her past the fire truck to the little door that holds all our gear. I almost take her on the truck, have her ride me for a core memory later, but four volunteers are on duty tonight, and I need her all to myself. We have a lot to talk about, but there is something so fucking sexy about her lips moving against mine, her eyes trained on mine as she sings words I have been singing for weeks with her in mind. I can’t begin to express how great it was to see her get out of the car. I don’t care that it’s the middle of the night; I couldn’t sleep because I felt things between us weren’t what I wanted them to be.