Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 73153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 366(@200wpm)___ 293(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 366(@200wpm)___ 293(@250wpm)___ 244(@300wpm)
I bit my lip and looked away from him. Kaleb was a good friend, but I couldn't allow him too close either.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. Kaleb sighed and plucked at my hoodie sleeve. "It's almost a suffocating temperature in this house and you're wearing a hoodie and jeans? You aren't hot?"
I shook my head, looking at what he was wearing. He had on khaki shorts and a white V-neck t-shirt with Nike shocks. I knew it was hot, but I couldn't bring myself to wear anything that exposed my secrets, my scars.
I was blemished. I was damaged on the inside and out.
He already knew some of what was inside.
I could still hold the secrets of what was on the outside.
"I'm fine. Go watch the movie. I'm fine at home." I really just wanted to be left alone.
He blew out a soft breath and got up from the bed. "Trevor isn't going, just so you know."
Kaleb knew I had been avoiding him. He had asked a couple of days ago why I didn't come out to play Call of Duty with them anymore, and why I always hid in my room with the door locked when Trevor was around.
I had told him that I wasn't comfortable around Trevor.
I didn't know if he had told Trevor that I said that or not, but it was a lie. I was more than comfortable around Trevor. I felt safe with him. He made me feel like everything could be okay in my life. Trevor made me see that silver lining.
Trevor was the only color in my black-and-white world.
I still just shook my head at Kaleb. I wouldn't risk him trying to force us to be around each other.
He just nodded and left the room, closing my door behind him. I pulled my hoodie sleeve up to look at my latest cut. It was healing nicely, but I knew it would be one of the worst scars I had. It still hurt to touch, and it was extremely sensitive.
I pulled my sleeve back down and got up from my bed, heading downstairs to the kitchen. I was the only person home, meaning I finally would get some peace and quiet without everyone constantly checking on me.
However, when I saw Trevor with his head in the fridge, I almost spun back around and bolted back up the stairs to my room.
He must have heard me enter because he quickly shot up from his bent position and spun around to face me. I began fiddling with my fingers nervously, the blood draining from my face. He let the fridge door fall shut and stuffed his hands in his pockets. We just stared at each other for a minute.
I was itching to run out of there.
"Don't even think about running away from me. I know you've been avoiding me, and I want to know why."
His voice was deep and controlled, like he was almost pissed off at me for not having anything to do with him these past few days. I cast my eyes away from him, looking anywhere but at him, slightly afraid to meet his gaze.
Suddenly, he was right in front of me, and he roughly grabbed my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. I cried out in fear and slapped his hand away, stumbling backward, slamming my back against the counter as panic began clawing at my chest. I gripped my hoodie in my hands, desperately clawing it away from my body.
Trevor yanked me to him, forced me to sit on a chair, and shoved my head between my knees. "Breathe. In and out, in and out, Tracey." He kneeled in front of me, his hands resting on the sides of my thighs, his warmth seeping into me.
I did as he instructed, and eventually, the anxiety attack slipped away. I looked up at him slowly. "You can’t—you can't just do that."
He abruptly stood up, making me flinch, and ran a hand through his hair. "Why the fuck were you avoiding me, Tracey?” Hurt laced his tone. I swallowed hard, casting my gaze to the floor. “I haven't given you any reason to not fucking trust me. This bullshit about not being comfortable around me?” He barked out a laugh. “That's absolute shit, Tracey, and you know it. I show you a little bit of fucking feeling, show you a little bit of how much you fucking mean to me, and you run the fuck away."
"You can't be around me," I clenched my hands in my lap. "You're so much better than me. I'm stuck in this deep, dark hole, and I can't drag you into it with me."
"That's fucking cowardice, Tracey. I know what it's like to be in that goddamn hole. Why do you think I've got all of these fucking tattoos, huh?" I looked up at him as he gripped the bottom of his shirt and yanked it over his head, tossing it to the side. I couldn't help but let my eyes rake over his toned body, taking in every inch of his inked skin. My breath hitched in my throat at the sight of his muscular, toned skin.