Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 125213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
“I don’t need a time.”
“I want to be alone.”
“Too bad.”
He finally looks at me with that remark, and I cock a brow at him, daring him to try to argue.
This is how we’ve been since the summer. I learned quickly that Aleks Suter didn’t respond to meek.
He scares everyone else around him — his teammates, our peers at school, sometimes even my parents.
But he never scares me.
Because I see it, that thing he tries so desperately to hide with his scowls and his scars and his bad attitude.
He thinks no one in his life is meant to stay. He thinks he lives a life so terrible, no one could possibly understand or relate. He thinks he’s alone and that’s just how it’s meant to be.
I don’t know why I’m determined to prove him wrong, but I am.
When I don’t budge, his stare softens a bit, his nose and eyes red from the cold wind. He’s only seventeen, but he somehow looks so much older, as if he’s lived a thousand lives he can’t tell a single soul about. His skin is pale, his face long, eyes dull and tired.
He’s still handsome, though.
He’s always that.
With a sigh, Aleks relents, realizing I’m not going anywhere. He still has his hands in the pockets of his coat, but he sticks an elbow out, a silent invitation for me to slide closer and slip my arm through his.
When I do, I have to fight not to sigh myself at the instant warmth. I snuggle in closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder.
I talk to Aleks about more than I talk to anyone else about. Even Jessie, my best friend at school, doesn’t know the things I confide to Aleks. I don’t know how it happened, but Aleks earned my trust.
Sure, I want to smack him upside the head more times than not for being a stupid jerk, for teasing me or just being dumb with his own well-being, but still…
He’s always there for me, and for some reason, it’s just easy to tell him things I never tell anyone else.
I don’t know if he feels the same, but I do know that I like when he talks back to me. I like when he listens, but it’s better when he talks, too. I like when he tells me about Switzerland, when he shows me pictures of the mountains he used to climb in the summers and the lakes he’d skate in the winter when Annaliese found a way to afford them traveling. I like when he confides in me about hockey, when he tells me something is challenging him.
But for the most part, Aleks isn’t the talking kind. He likes to be quiet, and I don’t mind that, either.
So, I settle in, content to stay quiet and just be there next to him.
He surprises me when he speaks.
“I didn’t even get to see her,” he whispers. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
My heart breaks at his admission.
I squeeze his arm, letting him know I hear him. Once again, the words I’m sorry feel too weak to speak out loud.
“I shouldn’t have left,” Aleks says. “I should have stayed with her. I should have been there.”
“No,” I argue, shaking my head and sitting up straight. I wait for Aleks to look at me. “Annaliese wanted you to come here, Aleks. She wanted it more than anything in the world. She wanted you to have your dream.”
“She was always putting everyone else before her.”
I smile softly. “For some people, that’s how they show their love.”
He swallows, and then, the impossible happens.
His eyes flood with tears faster than he can hide them.
And in fact, he doesn’t hide them.
He keeps those endless brown eyes on mine long after the first tears streak down his cheeks, freezing on his skin before he has the chance to swipe them away.
“I don’t know how I’m going to do this without her,” he croaks.
“I don’t know either,” I confess. “But I can promise you one thing. You won’t have to do it alone.”
His eyes search mine like he doesn’t quite believe me. But slowly, his brows soften, his bottom lip trembling.
And then, on the wind-whipped shore of Lake Michigan, Aleks Suter breaks.
When the first sob racks his body, I throw my arms around him, pulling him into me as best I can as a girl half his size. He curls up like a little boy, his head on my chest, his arms clinging to me as he cries and cries.
I don’t rush him. I don’t try to comfort him, either. I just hold him and let him feel every heartbreaking second of a moment I know will shape his life forever.
After a while, he settles, the tears drying up as he sniffles and holds tight to me.
“Mia?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re my best friend.”
My heart aches in a way I’ve never experienced when he says it, in a way that tells me maybe this is a moment that will shape my life, too.