Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 92702 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92702 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
How am I supposed to get through this when I can’t stop having feelings for him? I hate him, yes, but I can’t forget the other feelings that were starting to develop. No, not starting; I can’t lie to myself. I was deep in my feelings for him before everything went to hell. The last thing I should have done was fall in love with him, but I did, and I knew it on our wedding day.
How am I supposed to turn that off? How do I stop caring? This would all be a lot easier if I could. If I could turn my feelings on and off like a spigot. That is impossible. I can’t even shake my feelings for him now when he’s been cruel and dismissive. When he’s used me brutally. I only want more.
What happens when this is all over? When he’s wiped out Alvarez, and I’ve given him the son he so desperately wants? He’ll get rid of me, of course. I’ll be nothing but a memory. He might see me occasionally in our son’s eyes or the shape of his nose, but over time, he’ll learn to dismiss that, too. I doubt we’ll ever set eyes on each other again.
And I’ll only have myself to blame for my broken heart because this was the last man I was ever supposed to fall in love with. I knew what was at stake, I knew I was lying, and I knew there couldn’t possibly be a future for us. Yet I let it happen. As angry as I am with him, I’m ten times more furious with myself. I only have myself to blame.
“Paolo?” Enzo wanders back out of his study, looking around.
His eyes land on me, and I shrug. “I don’t know where he went. He’s probably still outside.”
“I wanted to ask him how the day went.”
I blink, waiting for more and getting nothing. “You could ask me.”
“I would rather hear it from him.”
“Why? Are you expecting me to lie?”
I know right away it was a mistake. He snorts, looking me up and down while his mouth twitches at the corners. “Because it would be the first time you’ve ever lied? Don’t tell me you demand trust now.”
“What do you expect him to say?” Should I challenge him? Probably not, even though the tension between us makes my skin tingle and my breath come fast. I like this too much—and I deserve to speak up for myself, too, whether he likes it or not. “What, do you think I was sneaking around? Slipping messages to my lab partner? Meeting up with him in the bathroom after class?”
His jaw tightens. “You have a male lab partner?”
“What, did you expect somebody from school to check in with you beforehand in case you didn’t approve?”
“Do you or don’t you?” he demands in a soft voice that scares me worse than a scream.
“No, I don’t,” I assure him with a snicker.
He lifts an eyebrow, advancing on me slowly. “Don’t play games with me. You won’t like the way it turns out.”
And now, a tiny bit of fear touches my heart, but it’s too late. I’m not going to apologize or beg his forgiveness. I’m past that point. “So I’m not worth acknowledging in front of a guest, but I’m also not allowed to exist without eyes on me at all times? And I can’t associate with men, even in class?”
“You’re starting to get the idea.”
“If there was anything wrong, your little watchdog would’ve ratted me out right away. I think we’re fine.” I walk past him on my way to the stairs—when he doesn’t try to stop me, I know I should be glad, but my heart sinks instead. “Though it might’ve been easier for you if I had tried to meet up with somebody after class.”
“Why is that?” he demands, now following me. Just like I shouldn’t want him to.
“I wouldn’t have shown up here when I did. Obviously, I’m an embarrassment if you can’t even acknowledge me.” I reach the top of the stairs and turn on him, making him stop halfway up. “Maybe you should fuck her instead of me. She looks like she’d be great breeding stock. Let me know the next time you have her over, so we won’t cross paths.”
Confusion washes over his face. “Is that what this is about?” he asks, caught between a grin and a scowl. “You’re jealous?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I snap before turning on my heel. Yes. Yes, I am. I’m so jealous I can barely see straight. “We both know why I’m here and what my purpose is. But I’d like a little respect, thank you. I’m still your wife on paper.”
The man is fast, and silent. I don’t realize he’s followed me the rest of the way to my room until he keeps me from closing the door. “You are my wife on paper and in practice,” he informs me, standing in the doorway. “And if I wanted to fuck another woman, that decision would be made without your input. You say you know why you’re here? You’d do well to remember it—because the alternative was death.”