Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Without looking away from me, he places the water on the table. He traces my knee with his thumb, the sensation soothing. “I’m sorry.” I cover my face with my hands. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.
“There is nothing for you to be sorry for,” Landry says, keeping his voice soft.
Shuddering a breath, I drop my hands and meet his eyes. “I’m okay,” I tell him.
“Damn right, you are.” He gives me an assertive nod, and I can’t help it. It makes me smile. It's just the corner of my lips, but it’s better than a panic attack.
“Do you know him? Do you know Chaz?” Corie asks gently.
I nod. “Yeah.”
“You don’t have to tell us.” Landry is quick to defend me. “Only if you want to.”
“It’s kind of a long story.”
“We’ve got nothing but time for you, Rowan,” Landry tells me.
His words give me reassurance. They’re my friends, they should know about my past. Especially if I have to pack up and leave the life I’ve been building here.
“What he said,” Corie agrees, as the rest of the guys softly murmur their agreements too. “You’re a part of our Rampage family,” Corie adds.
“Thank you.” I smile at my new friend. “I’ve never been a part of a family. Not one that I wanted to be a part of.” Landry’s hand tightens on my knee, and Corie’s eyes soften because I’m only looking at her.
“You have one now,” Knox says, his voice gruff.
“Rowan?” I turn to the sound of Sloane calling my name. She’s walking toward us with concern in her eyes. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“She’s good,” Landry answers for me, his thumb now tracing lazy circles on my knee.
“Pull up a chair,” I tell her with a grimace. Telling this is not going to be easy, but I can’t hide from this. I can’t hide from Chaz, especially if he’s being traded to the Rampage.
“Come on over,” Reid tells her. He pushes back from the table and pats his lap, and Sloane moves slowly and plops down on his thighs.
All eyes are on me.
“You don’t have to,” Landry says softly.
“I need to. I want to.” I inhale and slowly release the breath from my lungs, and then I start to talk.
“This is a long one. Before I start, I don’t want your pity. You need my background to understand why I stayed, and I value your friendships.” I take a minute to glance at Corie, Sloane, and even the guys. They’re all my friends. “I’ve never truly had friends that were mine… just for me. I want you to understand why I freaked out.”
“We love you,” Sloane tells me. “You’re one of us.”
The group murmurs their agreement while Landry keeps his hand on my knee. Somehow, his touch is grounding. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a comforting touch, and never one like this—given for the sake of nothing but comfort, not out of any kind of obligation.
“I grew up in foster care. I won’t bore you with the specifics, but by the time my mother lost all parental rights, I was too old for those who were looking to adopt. I bounced around from foster home to foster home. Everything I owned didn’t fill up a trash bag. The families I lived with… most of them were in it for the money or for an older kid to watch and entertain their younger biological children. When I was eight, I was placed with a good family. They were nice to me, and I didn’t feel afraid to go to bed at night. Three months later, my foster dad was transferred to a new job out of state, and back to another home I went.” I pause, taking a breath, staring down at Landry’s hand that’s still on my knee.
“I was one of the lucky ones. I’ve heard so many horror stories from foster homes. I’ve lived them alongside some of my foster siblings, but for me, I was spared the worst of the worst. However, there were no hugs, no simple touches, no smiles or reassurances.” My hands are on my lap, and Landry reaches over and laces his fingers through mine, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
“No more,” he says. His voice is gravelly, and his eyes are full of remorse. I hate it, but at least it’s not pity I see staring back at me.
I give him a short, stiff smile and continue with my story before I lose my nerve. “It was never home. I was always a guest. I was never allowed to grab a snack from the kitchen or watch my favorite shows. I was an inconvenience. A paycheck.” Landry’s hand tightens on mine, which holds all of my attention. It’s why I don’t notice Corie as she comes at me from behind and wraps her arms around me in a hug.