Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 90972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
“It’s just…” Looking at the bed, looking at him, everything’s all mixed up inside. “I don’t know if things could ever be the way they used to be. But I do like being here with you.”
“That’s a step in the right direction, I guess.” He gets up, goes to the dressing room, and I watch him open a drawer in there and pull out a T-shirt. I instantly know it’s going to look like a dress on me. Not a short dress, either. When he comes back and hands it over, a sizzle of heat races through me at the point where our fingers brush.
Maybe it’s dumb, considering he’s seen me naked, but I duck into the bathroom to get changed. Should I forget everything that’s happened before now and start fresh? Is it possible to do that? It would mean asking a lot of myself. Pretending things are the way they used to be. Only the stakes are so high now. It’s not my life on the line or my family’s safety.
It’s my heart. My future. Can I trust him with that? Sure, he has said a lot of things, he’s told me he cares. I guess there’s only so many times a person can get burned before they avoid anything too hot. And he has burned me to my core.
But not because he wanted to. Can I believe that?
Standing here in this ridiculously beautiful bathroom—it’s like something out of a reality show about rich people with nothing better to do with their money—I need to take the leap. To have a little faith. Otherwise, what am I doing here?
I don’t want to think about the bad things tonight. I want to think about the good things, things that only happened between us.
No debt, no Dad, no Tiana or anything else.
Playing pretend. Cuddling while we watched Twilight, which I know he couldn’t have actually wanted to do. He only wanted me to be happy.
The way it felt in his arms. How right, how true. How safe.
And I can’t pretend I haven’t craved the pleasure he showed me. Am I supposed to go without that for the rest of my life, now that I know it’s possible to soar?
He even told me nothing has to happen tonight. Because he really cares. I mean that much to him. That means more than any words he could say.
I’m feeling a little better about the whole situation by the time I open the bathroom door. There’s a Kellen-sized lump under the blankets—he didn’t waste any time getting into bed. The very, very huge bed. I have to climb into it, which makes me giggle softly. “I’m pretty sure I would need skates to get around to your side of the bed before morning,” I joke.
“What?” He cups a hand around his ear, squinting like he’s concentrating. “I can’t hear you all the way over there.”
When we’re laughing like this, it feels pointless to leave so much space empty between us. His eyebrow lifts when I scoot toward him. “That wasn’t me trying to convince you to come closer,” he murmurs.
“I know that.”
“I told you I wouldn’t touch you,” he reminds me.
This is it. I can chicken out now, or I can go for what my heart wants more than anything. I can finally take what’s right here in front of me and claim it as mine.
“What if I want you to touch me?” I whisper. His eyes gleam in the dark, reflecting my pulse-pounding need, as he reaches out, takes me by the waist with one strong arm, and pulls me close against his bare chest.
I can barely breathe, but it doesn’t matter. This is what I needed more than oxygen, more than anything. The feel of his hand on my skin, running up my thigh, pulling a high-pitched whimper from my throat before he touches his lips to my forehead, my nose, my cheeks. All I want to do is bask in this sensation. The feeling of being completely worshipped.
“What else do you want me to do?” he whispers, dragging his fingers over my flesh.
I don’t have to answer in words. All I have to do is tip my head to meet his lips. It’s fireworks, a whole truckload of them exploding in my skull all at once, lighting my body up. I thought I could live without this? Who was I trying to kid?
“Fuck, Dragonfly…”
My soul soars when I hear it. I used to hate it when he called me that. Now, wrapped up with him while he explores me and I explore him, it’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
I let him sweep me away, giving myself over to everything I’ve tried to hold back for too long. All of the loneliness, all of the need, all of the questions and doubt. All of the fear. This is when I let it go. Tonight, I leave it behind. I start fresh.