Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 90972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Without much thought, I rush into my bathroom and grab the first aid kit from under the sink. I return to my room. Kellen hasn’t moved from where he is standing. I put the first aid kit on my desk and open it. Reaching in, I grab some gauze, a wrap, and a roll of tape, placing everything on the table.
I play with the idea of helping him wrap up his hand, but that would mean getting close, even touching him, and I can’t do that right now. I step away from the desk, making room for him. He moves through the room slowly, as if he is worried about startling me.
A wave of exhaustion overcomes me, and I sway on my feet. Kellen surges forward, ready to catch me, but I manage to catch myself and straighten up.
“Please lie down before you pass out,” Kellen urges.
Nodding my head, I make it to my bed on unsteady legs. I crawl onto the mattress and pull the blanket over me. Lying back, I let my head fall into the pillow. I’m beyond tired, but my eyes remain wide open.
I watch him bandage his hand crudely but effectively. When he is done, he puts everything back into the first aid box and closes the lid. Slipping out of his shoes, he leaves them by the desk before crossing the room to stand on the other side of the bed. He doesn't take any of his clothes off, nor does he raise the blanket as he gets on the bed and lies down beside me.
“I can’t pretend anymore,” I say quietly.
“I won’t ask you to again,” he answers, but that doesn't give me a lot of relief. If he doesn't want to play out his fantasy anymore then why is he here now?
That’s one of many questions on my mind as Kellen reaches over to turn my bedside lamp off. The room descends into darkness, and I pull the blanket closer to my chest.
I close my eyes and hope that sleep finds me quickly.
It doesn't.
Now that I’m lying down, the numbness I was experiencing earlier is fading away. My wrists throb, my thighs feel bruised, and there is a dull ache between my legs. I try not to think about what happened to cause me this pain, but memories of earlier flood my mind regardless.
I remember Dante’s cruel hands on me. Kellen’s detached stare while he forced himself inside of me. Feeling so helpless and scared. My father’s scream. All of the blood. Everything comes crashing down on me all at once, and I can’t hold back the sob ripping from my body.
Curling up in a fetal position, I let myself cry. Tears stream down my face as dread, fear, and grief overwhelm me. I feel raw, inside and out. I’m on the verge of falling apart, splitting into a million pieces that can never be put together again.
“Tamson,” Kellen calls, his voice cracking with emotion. “Please, let me hold you.”
My heart hurts, the pain radiating from my chest. I just want it to stop. I want this crushing weight to be lifted off me.
I don’t know if Kellen is the answer, but it’s the only one I have. I can’t get a single word to come out of my mouth, but I lift my arm to reach for him. My fingers barely touch the soft fabric of his shirt, when his warm hand envelopes mine. He gently pulls me over to him, and I fall into his embrace.
Burying my face in his chest, I somehow cry even harder. Kellen wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him.
I’m not sure how this is possible. How can I find solace in the same person who caused me so much harm? Maybe there is something wrong with me, or maybe I’m just so desperate for comfort that I take it any way I can get it.
I cry until there are no more tears left. Until I’m so exhausted that sleep finally finds me.
Chapter 27
Kellen
Out of all the questions that kept me awake throughout the night, one rings out loudest by the time Tamson stirs.
Does she hate me?
The answer is obvious, or should be long before she opens her eyes and immediately inches away from me, putting as much space between us as possible. There is nothing but pure, unfiltered pain shining in her bloodshot eyes. She’s trembling, pale, unwilling to let me touch her.
My chest aches, but I can’t be mad at her. I can’t be hurt, either. It’s my fault, all of it.
“I’m going to fix this. I swear.”
“How?” There’s an empty, silent laugh at the end of it. She swipes a hand under her eyes, sniffling, but her gaze is hard and pointed and staring holes through me. “How are you going to do that? It’s too late.”