Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 50032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 250(@200wpm)___ 200(@250wpm)___ 167(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 250(@200wpm)___ 200(@250wpm)___ 167(@300wpm)
“Okay,” she says sleepily. I wait a few minutes, listening to the noises around us, waiting for her breathing to deepen before I do the same.
“Te amo, mi esposa,” I utter quietly, placing a kiss on the crown of her head, figuring she’s already asleep. Winnie’s always been a deep sleeper, especially after having multiple orgasms.
“I love you, my husband.” I tighten my limbs around her body, tucking her into me, allowing my body heat to keep us warm, and allow myself to close my eyes. Finally, we’re getting back to us. The other stuff will work itself out. For now, I’m sleeping with my woman in my arms.
11
WINNIE
“Hi,” I mumble shyly, lifting my head to look up at him what must be hours later. The minute Johnny lay flat on his back, placed me on top of his naked body, then grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch to spread on top of us, I conked out. Of course, I remember us both saying I love you; it came so naturally that even when I replied and Johnny’s body twitched beneath me, I let it go. Maybe he didn’t want me to hear; that’s okay, too. And honestly, we both probably should keep our lips zipped closed and hands off one another until everything is out in the open.
“Hey, sleep good?” he asks. I move my hands until they’re beneath my chin and prop myself up on top of them, giving me the height I need instead of having to hold my head up. All of a sudden, tiredness seems to sink into my body bone deep. The podcast I listen to would say that’s because I’m finally allowing myself to live after being a caregiver for so long. The adrenaline I’d been running on finally slowed to a screeching halt, and after this next conversation, it’ll all be out there.
“Better than I have in four years,” I admit.
“About that. Thinking we need to reconvene our conversation from earlier.” The playful look that was on his face when I first woke up has changed. This is serious Johnny, the kind of man he becomes in work mode when someone pisses him the hell off. I don’t want to be on his bad side, not now and not ever again.
“You’re right. Let me get up and put my clothes on.” I need to shield myself in the form of fabric.
“Doing it right here. We’re both going to lay it out and do it where we are.” The air whooshes from my lungs. So much for hiding myself from what I’m sure will be pity once I get everything out in the open.
“Okay, I’ll go first?” Way to go, dumbass, I mentally say to myself. Weren’t you just trying to put your clothes on to hide this part of the story, and now you’re just like ‘Oh hey, I’ll start talking, no big deal.’
“Whatever is easiest, mi esposa.” Him calling me his wife is a good start. I settle in for the long haul.
“Well, where to begin?” I try to collect my thoughts. There’s so much to discuss, and if we’re ever going to get Sebastian tonight, I need to get it out now. “Here goes nothing. Melanie’s death was a blow yet wasn’t. I didn’t cry, didn’t grieve. I became relieved; that’s the only way to describe it. She wasn’t fighting her demons anymore, her battle was over, and as bad as it sounds, Sebastian didn’t have to see his mom strung out one day, happy the next, or leave for long stints to get clean only to fall off the wagon again. It’d been a vicious cycle, and the only reason I stayed…” I take a deep breath.
“Sebastian,” Johnny answers for me.
“The one and only. I might not have birthed him, but he may as well be mine. When she delivered him, it was me who held him, me who fed him, me who bathed him, and I’d never hated my sister more than on the day she gave Sebastian life. It was supposed to be us. We were meant to have a child first. We waited till everything was up off the ground, I was working, we were in our groove, and neither of us did a single thing to protect us against having a child. I did what I knew needed to be done—put my big girl panties on, became an aunt rather than a mom, watched for signs that Melanie wasn’t at her best, and then I’d do what I could to keep Sebastian away. I was there for his first words, his first time eating solids, his first steps, and his first tooth. It pained me to drop him off at a daycare at such a young age, but I couldn’t trust Mel, and she didn’t put up a fight.”