Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 50032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 250(@200wpm)___ 200(@250wpm)___ 167(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 250(@200wpm)___ 200(@250wpm)___ 167(@300wpm)
“You okay to talk about it?” he asks, a completely different Johnny than the one I left.
“Is anyone ever ready to hash out the past?” I follow up. His hand reaches for mine, taking it in his and locking our fingers. Since the moment my feet landed back in Oak County, Florida, I’ve had more people touching me than I’ve been used to, not including Sebastian.
“No, I guess you’re right about that.” I fake mock I’m shocked at him telling me I’m right. “I can admit when I’m wrong. I’ve been wrong a lot. I think we both fucked shit up, me more than you. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. The divorce, though, it might not happen.” His thumb slides along the underside of my ring finger. There were many things I could part ways with, but no matter how tough things got, I didn’t let Melanie take my rings or my car. She knew, even in her state, not to ask or I’d leave, and in doing so, I’d turn her into the Department of Family Services.
“You might not have a choice after what I tell you. I guess I’ll start from the beginning. Melanie called me, begging me to pick her up, saying she was ready for treatment. After we had our argument, which, by the way, I understood where your stance is or was on that. I shouldn’t have kept asking you to navigate this with me. I’m sorry, Johnny, really sorry I allowed my sister to get between us.” I use my hand that isn’t engulfed in his to dash away the tears beneath my eyes.
“Mi cariño.” He cups my face, thumb sweeping along my cheek. “Jesús Cristo. I’m a damn fool. Went about the situation wrong, took my anger out on your sister, what I know now is a disease, and took it out on my wife.” Johnny’s voice is broken, almost like I am.
“We can argue about that another time. I’m pretty sure we both can take the blame. We could have handled the situation a lot differently. Except we didn’t, and now we’re left picking up the pieces.” I’m not sure that we’ll ever get back to us, especially with this lingering shit hanging over my head.
“I’m taking the blame. Nothing you can say about that. Keep going, por favor.” He softens the blow of his harsh tone by using the language I love hearing him speak.
“No, you’re not. Anyways, like I was saying, I left, went to Melanie. She was in the worst shape I’ve ever seen her, took uppers and downers, mixed alcohol then proceeded to shoot up. When I got there, she was slurring her words, eyes rolling backwards, and through it all begging for help. What I wasn’t prepared for was the positive pregnancy test she held in her hand. That became the game changer. I called an ambulance, and we went to the hospital. I followed her the whole way, white-knuckling the steering wheel. My sister was pregnant, and the only person I thought about was her unborn child. How horrible of me is that? I loved Melanie. She put me through hell, but her unborn child, that’s who deserved the most.” I take a deep breath, still remembering how she looked once they finally let me see her. The smell, the fluorescent lighting, the looks of pity and empathy from the hospital staff. It sucked so bad, and I didn’t have my rock to hold me together. I squared my shoulders and went to work, spoke with a case worker and set up a facility for her to detox in a way that wouldn’t cause any more damage to her unborn child.
“Afterward, when they released her, she went into an outpatient facility, because that’s the only kind that would take her with her being pregnant with Sebastian. Shit got worse, because we had to drive to Georgia to the only facility taking patients. I thought she’d get better, but between finding a job to support us and keeping her clean, it took an act of God.” So many times, I almost broke down to call Johnny and ask for help, to call Isla and see if she could talk sense into him, and it was even on the tip of my tongue to ask my own parents. Except I knew what the answer would be. I’d get upset, and then it’d be back to square one.
“Jesus, where is Melanie now?” Johnny asks the hardest question of my life.
“She’s gone.” I swallow the lump in my throat thinking about my sister and her life.
“Mother fuck, wish I could wrap you in my arms right now, Winn. You’ve been through it, and I hate to ask you this, but what do you mean by gone? Did she take off and leave you to raise Sebastian?”