Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
My friends, though? The ones who only came into my life through my brothers, the women who have become the sisters I always wanted? They may not understand, but they’re amazing. Riley pauses to give me a quick hug, and when she pulls away, she gives me a tight smile of apology. With a grim look, Samantha promises to talk to Chance and says she’s proud of me. Luna gives me a cheese-scented hug and whispers in my ear that she is so happy for me and that I told the boys off like a boss. Dani has barely said a word tonight, but as she passes by me, she dips her chin, silently vowing to make Kyle’s life hell for me, which I appreciate.
I close the door behind them, turning around and pressing my back to the cold wood. Surveying the damage to my apartment, I sigh. It might not be visible to the naked eye, given the couches are fine, the chairs aren’t moved, and there’s only a few abandoned wine glasses on the table, but my whole apartment—no, my whole life—feels like it’s in shambles.
And I’m alone again. The loneliness feels heavier this time, more pervasive and insidious as it works its way through my body.
But never one to wallow, I get to work. First things first, I dump the scraps of the charcuterie board into the trash and pour the wine down the drain. That done, I pull out the vacuum.
Cleaning wasn’t something I had to do growing up. We had a house manager, a chef, and a maid who came regularly. Dirty clothes magically moved from my hamper to reappear in my closet, freshly washed, pressed, and hung. My bed would mysteriously be made every day when I came home from school and would routinely have the scent of fresh laundry when I slid into bed at night. I never wondered where the food in the fridge came from or considered that someone was cooking dinner for us. It was all normal to me, not something to notice or consider.
When I moved into my own home, things were different. I don’t like people here. I have a cleaning service for the deep cleans, but the weekly upkeep is my meditation. My salvation. My… control.
I run the vacuum across the living room rug, creating the perfectly parallel lines that usually bring me some sort of satisfaction, but tonight, they don’t, and instead, something inside me breaks. I’m not sure what it is… my heart, maybe? I’ve been accused of being heartless so many times that I’ve started to believe it, so I’m not sure I actually have one of those, but there is a dull ache in my chest.
Oddly, the only person I can think of who might help is… Maddox. I want to push this hurt down, pretend things are fine, and laugh at his light-hearted banter. Riggs would ask too many questions, want to know how I’m feeling, and see through my façade, and I don’t want that right now. I’m too raw, too vulnerable, too exposed.
But can I see one of them without the other? Is that okay? I don’t even know. We haven’t set those types of guidelines in place and the uncertainty of that is overwhelming.
In the end, I finish cleaning up, spritzing the furniture with a light linen scented spray, and head to my bathroom. My soaking tub isn’t nearly the same as their hot tub and being wrapped in their arms, but it feels safer tonight.
Because I suddenly have no idea what I’m doing and everything feels completely out of control.
RIGGS
“Do you wish we were going to her family’s place?”
Maddox glances my way for one second before returning his attention to the road in front of us. “Considering she makes her family’s home sound like a hellscape, I think this option will be infinitely better. You’ll see.”
Kayla left shortly after Kyle did on Wednesday, promising that she was fine but that she needed some time to address her ‘family issues’. I didn’t believe her but did my best to respect her decision. We didn’t hear from her at all on Thursday, which worried me. And when we didn’t hear from her on Friday by lunch, to my fatalistic mind, it was a clear signal that she was ghosting us.
Maddox tried to keep hope alive, reminding me that it’d only been a few days of silence and that, for Kayla, shit had blown up in a pretty significant way, so getting all up in my feelings about it wasn’t doing us any good. His suggestion was to simply take a breath and let her settle after her brother’s shenanigans.
Ironically, he was right, but even so, I saw the light come back to his eyes when Kayla called this afternoon, asking if we wanted to come to her place for dinner tonight. He tried to play it off, making it seem like he never had a doubt, but I know he’s been secretly worried too, hiding it beneath smiles and jokes and an aw-shucks easygoing attitude.