Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
She reads for hours. It was already late when I got here. Dawn comes early in the summer, and by the time Amalphia reaches the end, there’s already the first grey-blue smudges of the early morning chasing away the purple-blackness of night.
After plugging her phone into the charger and setting it on the nightstand, Amalphia gives me a wide-eyed look. She’s on her side of the bed, and I’m on mine. Not that I have a side. I should say the area she moved over and made for me.
“I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.” Her voice is like soft music, even when she’s frowning.
“I’m not sure there’s any way anyone could listen to that story and feel anything other than enchanted.”
She gapes at me. “Enchanted?” Her eyelashes sweep up and down and then pause momentarily as she finally gets it. “Oh, that kind of enchanted.”
I get a pang in my chest, but what’s going on in my cock is far worse. I’m basically that dude who puts on grey sweats and a black T-shirt. Except I legitimately went and worked out first. It wasn’t in my plans to come here after. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Amalphia. My mind should have been turning over and over the news that Reginald gave me. I should have felt exonerated and maybe just a little bit vindicated. Relief. Anger. Grief. Regret. Pain. Sadness. Any and all of those.
The only thing I could think about while I tried to run myself into the ground and then lift weights into a freaking coma was her.
She catches the way I’m looking at her, and it’s more than just with heavy-lidded desire, though I’m sure there’s plenty of that too. I just listened to her describe some pretty spicy shit in detail for the past few hours.
She’s in a green T-shirt with a cow facing backward and big red letters swirling over the front saying, Whooooo moooooo? The bottoms are fuzzy green, but I’m not sure it’s a matching set. All I know is that in it, she’s utterly adorable. And beautiful. She smells amazing too.
“I’m really glad you came here. That you…that you could use this as a safe space. That you’d want to be with me when you needed someone. That says more than words ever could, and I’m truly honored. I know there’s no way to prove to you that this is going to work. That the regrets won’t outweigh the awesomeness. There’s no physical way for me to prove to you that I’m in this for you, and not for any other reason either. I guess it’s just trust that we have to go on,” she says.
I feel like I’m taking things from level one, where we’re still trying to decide if we can even make this work, to level ten, where I’m coming on way too strong, I’m obsessed to the point where I can’t think of anything other than you, and I’m worried that if I tell you, it’s going to make you run, but I’m pretty sure you already know because my face is doing all the telling that my words aren’t.
“You don’t have to worry about proving anything. Everything you’ve done for me that is so far above and beyond a cleaning position, the way you smile at me, the hug you gave me, and your willingness to just look after me without expecting anything back …that’s what tells me that you’re in this for me alone. I know this might not work out. We have so much growing and changing to do together. I’m not afraid of that. The only person I want to be next year, or five years from now, or ten, is a better man than I am now and doing something that makes me truly happy.
“I don’t want to make assumptions, but…” I know how stupid this is going to sound, but now that I’ve gone this far, I need to keep going, or I’m just going to wind up sounding like a selfish ass, “…but if you’d do me the absolute honor of sharing your life with me, caring about me, and standing by my side, I would love to be the kind of man who supports you in your own growth, helps you achieve your dreams, and cares for you like crazy.”
Her eyes glaze over, and I feel like a total asshat. I’ve said the wrong thing, gone way too far, and crossed every line. She’s probably weighing the odds of this working against all the lessons life has taught her. Then again, she was raised by her parents, who still seem to be completely in love with each other. I saw them in a moment of crisis, and they were clinging to each other instead of trying to shove each other in front of the thug bus to try and save themselves.