Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Flip
I know, and same.
She’s opened the door and I don’t want her to question where I’m at. She’s had to do that for far too long.
Flip
I don’t like being away from you. But if I was home and we didn’t take a pause, I’d either be sleeping in your bed, being a distraction from your studying, or you’d be sitting on my couch, probably wearing something you think is cute and comfy, and I’d be struggling to keep myself in check because you in one of my hoodies does things to me. And then you wouldn’t get the studying in, and neither of us would get the sleep we need because I’d be looking to fulfill a fantasy for both of us. Plus, there’s clarity with space. Being separated from you has made me painfully aware of how much I care about you, and how much better my life is when you’re close to me.
I want to lay it all out for her, be completely honest about my feelings, but that needs to wait until we’re together again.
Tally
I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that from you.
Or read it, actually.
Flip
Whenever you need a reminder that I’m in this with you, and that you mean the world to me, all you have to do is open your text messages.
Tally
I can’t wait until you’re home.
Flip
Me, too. Not long now.
In the meantime, I’m thinking of you.
Get back to studying
Tally
Diving back in.
Flip
I grab the journal from my nightstand. I have practice in an hour, but it’s more than enough time to put my feelings on paper.
Tally,
Being away from you feels like half my heart is missing.
I wanted to call you so badly after you texted to tell me you missed me.
I miss your voice and your laugh. I miss hearing my name on your lips.
I miss the smell of your cherry blossom shampoo.
I miss the way it feels to wake up with you wrapped around me.
I miss the softness of your lips.
I miss making KD with you.
I miss watching you dance.
I miss all the things that make you uniquely you.
There are so many things I can’t wait to do again once we unpause.
I’m making a new fantasy list, but this one isn’t X-rated. It’s all the things I never want to take for granted.
I want to take you to the Dutch Toko and watch your eyes light up when we buy all your favorite treats.
I want to go shopping with you for new lingerie and have you edge the hell out of me the entire time.
I want to cuddle on the couch and read together.
I especially want to read Cammie’s fic updates with you and then re-enact the scenes (but we might have to improvise with those why-choose moments because I was ten thousand percent serious about no one ever touching you again but me).
I want to build furniture with you. I don’t know why, I just do.
I want to take you to a carnival and eat funnel cake and make out with you in the fun house.
I’ll keep adding to the list, but those are a few of the things that have made it onto My Life With Tally fantasy list.
But the one thing I want most is to finally to tell you how I feel about you.
I love you.
Everything about you.
I love your smile, the sound of your laugh, the way your eyes light up when I’ve done something nice for you. I love the way you smell, how dedicated you are to your craft, how supportive you are of me, how patient you are. I love that you’re the kind of friend who will always step up for the people you care about.
I love you with every ounce of my being, and when we’re finally together again, I will tell you exactly how much every single day for the rest of our lives.
Love,
Phillip
CHAPTER 56
TALLY
“How does it feel to be ninety-five percent done?” Mom asks as the server drops off our drinks.
“Amazing and a little scary.” I sip my Shirley Temple. I would love a margarita, but I still have my showcase, and our final dress rehearsal is this afternoon, so the celebratory drink will have to wait another twenty-four hours.
“Big changes are coming, huh?” She smiles empathetically.
“Yeah. I’m excited, but I’m nervous about the unknowns.”
“You’ve had a lot of those this year.” She pokes at the ice in her club soda with her straw.
“Our whole family has,” I agree. “But I see how this is better for you and Dad.” I don’t know if I’m ready for them to start dating other people, but it’s not my choice, either. I just want them to be happy, however that looks.
“How are you and Phillip?” Concern laces her tone.
“Still on a pause.” Their last away game is tonight. “But that will change when he’s home.”