Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
“I fell in love with him, and he fell in love with me, but he refuses to own his feelings,” I explain.
Flip nods slowly. “Do you want to start from the beginning? Because usually people marry each other after they fall in love, not before.”
That he’s made it this long not knowing the whole story speaks to how amazing he is as a best friend. And the rest of my friends showed up for me too, the whole time.
So I start from the beginning—with Callie’s hockey games and Connor coming to the library looking for Meems’s books, me putting together who she was and how connected I already felt to her before Connor proposed the arrangement to alleviate the possibility of me losing my apartment, and then signing the contract.
Tristan arches a brow. “You signed a contract to marry him?”
I explain the parameters.
Flip’s expression darkens. “You know I would have helped you with the apartment, and I wouldn’t have made you sign anything.”
Tristan and Rix share a look.
“What’s that about?” Flip motions between them. “You can’t tell me you think what he did was okay.”
“We both stood to gain something,” I reason.
“Connor did a lot more at our wedding than just fix the accommodations,” Rix says.
“What do you mean?” Flip asks.
“My mother showed up,” Tristan explains.
My eyes widen. “What? When?” Tristan hasn’t seen his mother since she abandoned their family when he was twelve.
“The day before the wedding. I didn’t see her, but Nate did. I wasn’t there, but Essie and Nate explained what happened after the wedding. Connor paid her off. He gave her three million dollars to stay out of our lives. He made her sign a contract, too, saying she’ll have to pay it back if she ever tries to contact one of us again. And he refuses to accept any form of repayment.”
“He said it was our wedding gift,” Rix adds.
“Wow.” Flip runs a hand through his hair. “That’s…wow.”
This absolutely sounds like something Connor would do, especially considering the circumstances. I let my head flop back against the couch cushions. More tears fall. “This just makes what’s happened so much worse.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Maybe he’s scared, like I was?” Tristan offers.
I nod, and Flip hands me a tissue.
Tristan and Rix stay for a few more minutes, but then leave me and Flip to talk with a promise to call later.
“I wish you’d come to me with this, Dred.” Flip’s sadness is written all over his face.
I set my ice cream soup aside, taking his warm hand in my cold one. “But you understand why I couldn’t ask that. Even if we didn’t want it to, it would’ve changed our relationship. I couldn’t take that risk. Our friendship is too important. Connor felt…like a safe person to make that arrangement with. He loves his Meems so much, and I love her too. I thought I could play the role and keep my heart out of it.”
“But that changed for both of you.”
“At first I thought… I thought he was just doing these things to make me happy because it made his Meems happy. It made sense. The more content he kept me, the more real it would look to everyone else, right?”
He nods. “It definitely looked real by the time you got to the wedding.”
“I started sleeping with him after the wedding,” I admit. “And then…I started sleeping with him. I moved into his bedroom. It felt like we were building a life together. He brought the twins to the house for Christmas for me. And I wanted to keep them forever. I wanted what was happening to be real, Flip. I wanted those kids to be ours. I wanted Meems to be mine, too. I wanted to be loved, and love back and not have it all taken away.” I break down again, tears rolling down my cheeks, dropping onto his shirt and my hands. “But he was so cruel. So needlessly, painfully cruel. And it hurts so much, because I know he’s a good person, and I know he feels the same way about me as I do about him. He just can’t admit it. He ruined it all out of fear, and I’m in pieces all over again, afraid I’ll never be able to put myself back together.”
Flip wraps his arms around me and rocks me, like I’m a child and he’s the parent I never had, but always wanted. We wear so many hats for each other—best friend, mother, father, confidant, champion, therapist, cheerleader, ass-kicker.
“Tell me I won’t feel like this forever,” I cry. “Tell me it won’t hurt like this for the rest of my life.”
“It won’t feel like this forever.” He kisses the top of my head. “But it will hurt for a while—at least until he gets his head out of his ass. And maybe even for a while after that.”