Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Everly can’t say enough nice things about Fee on the ride back home. We take Meems to the guesthouse, and when we return, the twins are sitting in the living room, their gifts neatly stacked.
“I guess we should probably get back, huh?” Victor says, working hard to hide the sadness in his voice.
Everly runs her hands up and down her thighs, looking just as unhappy.
“Do you want to go back tonight?” Mildred’s voice wavers slightly.
They look at each other.
“Don’t we have to?” Victor asks.
“I checked, and you’re allowed to stay the night, if you want,” I offer.
“Here?” Everly’s eyes go wide. “With you?”
“Only if you want. We understand if you’d feel more comfortable in your own bed,” Mildred says.
“No. Nope. No way. Those beds kinda suck, and the ones here look super nice.” Everly looks to Victor. “You want to stay, right?”
“Yeah.” He nods and swallows, voice cracking. “Yes, please.”
“Okay, great.” Relief eases the tightness in my chest. “Why don’t we pick your rooms for the night, and then we can watch a movie.”
It only takes a minute for them to decide. We all change into comfy clothes, then make popcorn and hang out in the theater room to watch their favorite holiday movie.
It’s late by the time we climb the stairs for bed. The twins seem caught somewhere between relentless excitement and overwhelming exhaustion.
They disappear into their rooms, which are down the hall from Mildred and me, but right next to each other.
Mildred loops her arms around my neck once the door to our room is closed. “Thank you for making this the most amazing Christmas.”
“It was my pleasure.” I press my lips to hers.
I would give her the world if she asked for it. I would give her anything if she’d just stay for me—not because she has to, but because she wants to.
“It was almost perfect,” she whispers, fingers moving to the collar of my shirt. “Just one thing was missing.”
I trail my hand down her side. “What was that?”
“You.” She tugs my shirt from my pants. “Inside me.”
“Let me fix that for you, darling.” I allow myself to believe that what we are is more. That she doesn’t owe me; she wants me.
We undress each other, and she guides me to the bed and pulls me on top of her. I can’t get close enough, can’t get enough of her hands on my skin or her soft whimpers and sighs. I want every part of her, not just her body, but her heart, too.
When I reach for a condom, she shakes her head. “Not tonight, please.”
And with that, my heart leaps again. “You’re sure?”
Mildred runs her fingers through my hair. “I’m on the pill. I trust you, and I want to feel all of you.”
I shift my hips, the head nudging at her entrance. All it takes is a tilt of her hips, and I fill her in one smooth stroke. It’s an avalanche of sensation, and I tumble into bliss. Into the warmth of her surrounding me.
I frame her face in my hands, eyes on hers as we move together. I’m in so deep. I’m too far gone for her. I’ll never break free. I don’t want to. Eventually she comes in glorious waves, and I follow, drowning in heady bliss.
Afterward, I clean her up and turn off all the lights. But I check my phone before I climb into bed and find a new email from Meems’s doctor.
It doesn’t seem right for it to have come today, but I fight the wave of anxiety, open it, and scan the contents.
I can just make out Mildred’s silhouette in the darkened room as she sits up, the sheets rustling in the quiet. “Connor, what’s wrong?”
“It’s Meems.”
“Is she okay?”
I look up and meet her eyes in the darkness. “She qualified for surgery.”
CHAPTER 40
DRED
The week leading up to Meems’s surgery is an unexpected roller coaster. Connor vacillates between doting, overbearing, and combative. His stress comes out in sharp comments and soft apologies.
Christmas feels like a million years and a whole relationship ago. My feelings for him have shifted. I feel like I’ve finally been given a family, rather than piecing one together myself. I care for him and Meems deeply. This marvelous place has started to feel like my home. And I’m terrified of what all this means.
I find myself desperate to feel connected to him. In the light of day, he shuts down, closes himself off. So every night, when the lights are out, I reach for him. It’s safe in the dark, where our feelings can stay hidden behind desire.
But I’m out of time today.
And even though my husband is sitting next to me, he’s far, far away. Every offer of comfort is met with terse denial. His family sits across from us, tanned from their week in the sun. His father is typing away on his laptop. Julian and Bryson are at work, because someone has to keep things running smoothly.