Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 115308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
But I could deal with that knowing I got Baird out of it. He was worth it because he was compromising on the vision he saw for us to help me keep the job I loved.
He proved how lucky I was time and again. During a fortnight that should have been dedicated to just us and our impending nuptials, he stood by my side while I paid a ton of attention to my family. I was feeling extra clingy with my parents and Lockie and with my aunt Shannon. We spent time with them for my own reassurance that the articles hadn’t disrupted or impacted their lives in a big way, and that we were all good. Baird understood that.
We gave equal time and attention to his family and Ainsley, because it was becoming real for them too that what had seemed like a whirlwind relationship was going to end in something legal and permanent.
In among all that was the pain of discovering my mum had been in recovery for over a decade and that she’d betrayed me. Baird had suggested perhaps I should talk to someone because he’d found counseling helpful, and I said I would consider it. The trauma from the hurt my mother had caused had impacted our relationship in the past, and I didn’t want that to keep happening.
Baird, my family, my work, the upcoming wedding, did a lot to distract me from Maryanne Lewis.
Therefore, it was a shock when one week out from the wedding, I was in the middle of booking flights for myself, Eli, and Liza to attend Paris Fashion Week when Eli popped their head around my door.
Their expression was difficult to read as they cleared their throat and very slowly relayed, “There is a call for you … from someone claiming to be Maryanne Lewis.”
It was amazing how her name could set off a fight-or-flight response. I instantly felt my breathing grow rapid, sweat on my palms, my entire body tense and trembling. I experienced a rush of lightheadedness.
“Do you want me to put the call through? Maia?” Eli stepped into the room, frowning. “Maia, do you want me to put the call through?”
I closed my eyes, my mind whirring as the blood pounded in my ears. “Um … okay.”
“You sure?”
I nodded, looking at the phone on my desk.
I was aware of Eli leaving. As I waited, I contemplated the idea that the person calling wasn’t really my mum. That it was a scam. That someone was trying to mess with me. But if it was my mother, why was she calling? What did she have to say? Did I want to hear what she had to say?
I was going to throw up.
The phone rang on the desk and I literally jumped in my seat. Sucking in a shaky breath, I exhaled and reached to pick up the handset. If it was really her, I wanted to be calm and cool and collected. Detached, almost.
“Hello?”
“Maia?”
A rush of nostalgia was quickly followed by resentment, heartbreak, anger, all the ugly feelings I wished I could let go of.
It was really her.
“Maryanne?”
“Aye … it’s me.”
I waited, my ears throbbing from how hard and fast my heart beat the blood around my body. “Why are you calling me?”
“I …” The line crackled as she let out a shaky sounding exhale. “I wondered if you would … I mean, we can talk here on the phone, but I wondered if you would meet me.”
“Why?”
“I have some things I’d like to explain.”
I squeezed my eyes closed because she sounded like how she used to before her addiction got so bad she could barely string sentences together. Her speech was so greatly abused by the heroin. But here she was on the other end of the line, sounding sober and clear.
“That newspaper thing … it wasn’t … that bastard edited out so much of what I said and … and he made it look like I was blaming you, and that was not my intention.”
I gritted my teeth. “Why talk to him at all?”
“I want to explain in person.” At my lengthy silence, she continued, “I’m not … I’m not expecting a relationship with you, Maia. I’m not after anything. But if I were you, I’d be feeling a certain way right now, and I … a long time ago, my sponsor told me that I should make amends with you first and foremost, and I couldn’t do it. I don’t even know if you care or if anything I do affects you or affected you … but I owe you amends. Now more than ever.”
It was hard for me to reconcile the voice on the other end of the phone with the woman who had put me in danger, who had left me to grow up and take care of myself, and whose negligible and abusive actions had pushed me to the point of running away.