Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 32807 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 164(@200wpm)___ 131(@250wpm)___ 109(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 32807 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 164(@200wpm)___ 131(@250wpm)___ 109(@300wpm)
Katie hadn’t even been out of his league. He had cheerleaders falling all over him, lining up around the corner wanting to ride him and all that shit, whereas Katie didn’t even give him the time of day. She gave him nothing. She was never mean, but he also knew she didn’t notice him.
“Yeah, you were.”
“And I’m not a dick anymore, and I like hanging out with Katie. She doesn’t make me feel like I’m sick.”
The smirk left Sarah’s face. “Hawk, come on.”
“No, you think I don’t know what our parents’ game is? You think I don’t know you’re stopping by to keep an eye on me?”
“They’re worried about you. We’re all worried about you.”
“You don’t need to be, okay?”
“Hawk, honey, you died.”
“But they brought me back. I’m back, and I didn’t argue with Dad. I’m taking a break, and I’m not getting involved in my company. I’m reading the fucking emails giving me the rundown of everything that is happening. I’m doing what is asked of me. I don’t need a babysitter, and I don’t need people to make me constantly remember how bad it fucking was.” He grabbed the bag he’d packed his and Katie’s lunch in and stormed out of the house.
He still hadn’t purchased a car for himself, and was still taking out the old truck he used when he was a kid. Putting the lunch box on the seat beside him, he turned over the ignition and pulled out of the driveway. The moment he cleared the main road, he couldn’t help but slam his hand on the steering wheel, feeling a little pissed at himself for arguing with his sister.
He was not going to forget that kind of pain anytime soon. It had been the worst feeling in the world and was going to be impossible to forget.
Gripping the steering wheel tightly, he pressed his foot to the gas, but he didn’t break any traffic codes or speeding regulations. He kept calm, although he couldn’t help but think of how his life was at the beginning of the year.
Some chick had pulled him into her and kissed him, even though it had been the first year in his life that he hadn’t really felt the joys of the New Year.
Did he have an idea of what was going to happen then? That his life by the middle of the year would be totally different?
He parked the truck in one of the available spaces outside of Palmer’s Gifts, grabbed the lunch bag, and made his way inside. Katie was at one of the window displays, complete with a dustcloth, vacuum cleaner, and polish.
“Hey, Hawk,” she said.
For the past month, he had spent every available moment he could with Katie. Stopping by the shop, taking her to lunch. It hadn’t extended to dinner or dancing, or to anything. Just two friends chatting, catching up, and it was not what he wanted. He wanted so much more.
“Hey,” he said.
Katie looked around from the display. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”
She climbed out of the window, pushing some of the hair off her face. “You don’t look all right.”
“I just ... I got in an argument with my sister. She’s around all the time.”
“She worries about you.”
“I know. I know our parents put her up to it, but I don’t need people around me twenty-four-seven.” He ran a hand down his face. “Sorry, I’m sounding like a total dick.”
“No, no, you’re sounding like a guy who ... wants a little space. I get it.”
He frowned. “You don’t think I’m being a total dick?”
“You might be. I remember you mom coming in here, and she just burst into tears. She was sobbing about how close it came to nearly losing you. With Adam, I have come to realize there are two sides to each story. There is your side, as the person who was sick in the hospital, and then there is the side of those trying to deal with it. Like your mom, dad, and Sarah. Just like with me and Adam.” She shrugged. “It’s hard for both sides. They love you, Hawk. They want the best for you, and they weren’t there when it happened.” She moved toward him and put a hand on his arm. “I was there when Adam got his diagnosis. Both times. Your dad was the one who got the call. I can’t imagine how scared your parents must have been.”
“Fuck, now I feel like a prick.”
“But I know how I felt when the doctor told Adam he had cancer, and I remember that feeling when he told us it had returned. I know that feeling, but I also know Adam was terrified. He knew it was coming, but he was also scared. How did you feel?”
Hawk looked at her.
No one had asked him that. Everyone had told him what he’d been doing wrong. No one had asked him how he felt, or what it all meant to him.