Total pages in book: 173
Estimated words: 163802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 819(@200wpm)___ 655(@250wpm)___ 546(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 163802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 819(@200wpm)___ 655(@250wpm)___ 546(@300wpm)
“What you don’t do,” he flung, “is buy groceries, cook family dinners, and get on Lily about her homework. You didn’t even do this shit during the good times in our marriage—all two weeks of it.”
“What if I know that, Alex? What if that’s the fucking reason I’m trying to do things differently now?”
“Why in the fuck would now be any different!”
“Because I almost died!” I screamed, blowing him back. “Because I woke up in the dirt and the dark with a bleeding head and a phone that didn’t have one single message from anyone I loved asking if I’m okay, where I was, or if I needed help.
“Not one, Alex!” Tears sprung to my eyes. “Do you know what that’s like? To wake up on the worst morning of your life, completely lost in every way, and discover that no one was looking for you.
“Maybe I want to change because I realized I’ve lived a life that no one cares about. That no one... would miss.”
Alex’s shoulders drew down. Dropping his head, the haggard lines on his face disappeared behind his big, calloused hand. “Sue...”
“I want to start over with all of you. You, Micah, Rhodes, Omma, and Lily. No bullshit,” I whispered, cutting the air. “No tricks. No games. This is a real and honest fresh start. But if you can’t let it be,” I said, raising his head. “Then, let me know now and I’ll go.”
“You’ll... go,” he said slowly. “Just like that.”
“Yeah, just like that. I’ll move into a hotel and visit Omma while the guys are at work, Lily is at school, and you’re out... doing whatever it is you do.”
He flared up quick. “I’m out applying to med schools—as it happens. I don’t just sit around all day, Sue. I’m moving forward with my life.”
“Hmm. You mean, like I’m trying to do?”
He clamped his jaw shut, jewel eyes glittering with emotions—but none of them that I could read.
“What will it be?” I asked. “Can I go one day without you accusing my pan of sauteed beef of being evidence of a nefarious plot? Or not?”
Alex stared at me for a long time. So long, the warming oil on the stove hit smoke-point—filling the air and stinging my eyes.
And then he stood there even longer, watching me as Lily came trotting through the kitchen and into the dining room.
“Al—”
He turned away and left—walking out the door with the shock left on my hanging lips.
Closing my mouth, I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat. Don’t make an offer if you don’t want the outcome, Sarah. You learned that lesson hard.
There wasn’t anything to do about it. I told him I’d leave if it meant Lily didn’t have to live in a home full of shouting and resentment for another minute, and I meant it. Time to go.
Taking off my apron, I turned off the stove and—
“—will be right in here,” Alex called over his shoulder. “Shout if you need help.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
Alex took the spare apron off the hook under my huge eyes. “So what’s this strawberry-ade stuff?” he threw in my general direction. “Is it just lemonade but strawberries?”
“Uhh... it’s... it’s a little different?” I confessed, slowly approaching. “More like a sweet fruit syrup mixed with sparkling water.”
He hummed. “Doesn’t sound too bad,” he replied, bending over the recipe. “But you know Rhodes doesn’t do sugar when he’s training, so he’ll only want the sparkling water.”
I picked up my slotted spoon like he might reach over and snatch it from me at any second. “I got some extra bottles of sparkling water for that reason.”
Alex tipped a nod. “Did you also print out the other recipe?”
“The other recipe for what?”
He was really not looking at me then. “The recipe for... how to make rice.”
I snorted.
“Don’t you fucking start.”
“Don’t start on what, rich boy.” The snort became a full-blown laugh. “On how you need directions for boiling water? Or is it the part where you throw in the rice and turn the stove off after fifteen minutes that stumps you? Aww.” I pouted. “Counting to fifteen is so hward, but baby Alex can do it if he weally tries.”
“You know, my name isn’t on your marriage license.” He snapped his apron putting it on. I could’ve been imagining it, but I thought I heard amusement in his voice. “I don’t have to put up with this shit. I can just walk out the door.”
“Sure, if you can find it.” I patted his shoulder, oozing sympathy. “Do you need directions to that too?”
Alex made a sound—moving away and out of my reach. “Fuck you twice,” he replied, but I didn’t imagine that time.
That sound... was a laugh.
Chapter Nine
Utensils clinked. Glass thudded on wood. Chewing filled the air. The air conditioner rattled and hummed.
If I thought a family dinner would defuse the tension and clear the space for conversation, my delusions were soundly and thoroughly popped.