Total pages in book: 173
Estimated words: 163802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 819(@200wpm)___ 655(@250wpm)___ 546(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 163802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 819(@200wpm)___ 655(@250wpm)___ 546(@300wpm)
I felt her eyes on me. “And that hurts your feelings, doesn’t it.”
She said it like a question, but it wasn’t one. Courtney was always able to see right through me.
“Yes, it does.” My eyes stung. “You know what a massive crush I had on those guys my entire freshman year. And then after they graduated, I virtually stalked everything they did and everywhere they went. If there was anything I wanted as much as Yale, it was to be in Micah’s, Rhodes’s, and Alex’s orbit,” I said. “Now I finally am, and they look at me like bear shit on the welcome mat. And speaking of bears, Alex locked me outside with one this morning.”
“Excuse me?!”
“Yep. No exaggeration. He saw the fucking bear behind me, locked the door, and walked away.”
She gaped at me, speechless.
“I was fine,” I quickly added. “The bear didn’t try to come after me when I hurried my butt off the porch and to the front door, but the look in Alex’s eyes when he did it...”
I tossed my head. “He truly despises Sue. The only thing I can’t figure out is how she knew to go for them in the first place. I never told Sue how I felt about those guys. I wasn’t an idiot.”
“Uhhh....”
“Huh?” I raised my head, locking eyes with her cringe. “What? What is it?”
“Babe, I... I think I know how she figured those three were the perfect targets of your emotional annihilation.”
“What?” I sat up straight. “How?”
Courtney sighed. Picking up her own cupcake, she chomped a big bite. “After that day in the auditorium—when you just suddenly disappeared and I didn’t have a clue what happened other than that you were expelled. After that day, I kept going to your house almost every day for weeks, trying to get in to see your mother to ask what happened to you.
“At first, the staff let me in but told me I had to wait in the front hall until your mother was ready to receive me,” she mocked, putting on all the pompous airs that word deserved. “Hint: she never came down.
“Eventually, she must’ve told the staff to stop opening the door for me, because they started leaving me on the welcome mat—banging and shouting for someone to let me in.” She blew out a breath. “Well, one day, the door flew open and your mother was there—looking down on me like I was the most disgusting, filthy piece of trash she’d ever seen.”
Court’s eyes glazed. “She told me she had no daughter by the name of Sarang Kim—”
The sentence cut me like a knife.
“—but if she was the mother of the person I was referring to, she must’ve lost said daughter to the influence of vulgar, insolent little sluts like me.”
It was my turn for my jaw to drop. “She said that?! Oh, Court, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine,” she said quickly.
It wasn’t fine. All these years later, I could hear in her voice that it was not fine.
“Sarah, I’m telling you this because while your mom was eviscerating me on the welcome mat, I looked over her shoulder and saw your sister, Sue, crossing the hall with your journal in her hands.” She tapped the table. “Remember the one you always used to carry in high school? The one—”
“—that had all my embarrassing, blubbering essays on my feelings for Micah, Rhodes, and Alex,” I choked out. “Along with the business card Rhodes gave me when we promised to make a date for my eighteenth birthday.
“She took my journal.” My voice was flat. Dead. “My private thoughts and feelings. She stole it and weaponized it—doing everything she could to hurt me even after I was gone.”
A cold hand slipped into mine, squeezing tightly. “How did she even get it?”
“Omma didn’t let me pack my things before she threw me out,” I said to a pink-and-green-painted wall. “She didn’t let me take anything but the car, and that was only because the car would get me the fuck out of her face quicker.
“The journal was still upstairs in my bedroom, but I had it hidden in the air vent to keep it from Sue’s grubby, nosy hands. With me not there to stop her, she must’ve snooped around until she found it.”
“I’m so sorry, babe.”
I groaned, sinking down in the chair. “I don’t want to talk about that monster anymore. I came because I needed to tell someone the truth... and because I need someone to tell me the truth.” I leaned over, grasping both her hands. “Is what I’m doing insane? Should I just come clean to everyone and hope they’ll understand?”
She was shaking her head before I finished. “No, Sarah. That is exactly what the fuck you don’t do. If you come clean now, it’ll spectacularly blow up in your face, and I’m not sitting on my ass without a clue while my best friend gets chased out of my life for the second time.”