Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 41935 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 210(@200wpm)___ 168(@250wpm)___ 140(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41935 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 210(@200wpm)___ 168(@250wpm)___ 140(@300wpm)
And why? There’s zero chance I’m going to be with Farrah now that Alice doesn’t want me. I’d leave the show, but then I couldn’t even see Alice.
I’m looking at new photos of Micah and watching videos Trin sent me of him, feeling like a caged beast, when Alice finally texts me back.
Alice: I can’t risk her finding out. You know my reasons. If it was just about what I want, you and I would be in my room right now.
I groan, my cock stirring as I think about burying my face between her thighs.
Dalton: Where are you?
Alice: Sitting on the patio with Farrah. She’s keeping track of all the contestants so she can figure out whose room you go into later.
I slam my phone onto the bed, so pissed off it’s all I can do not to go down there and tell Farrah to stay the fuck out of my life. Then I pick it back up and text Alice back.
Dalton: Someone needs to tell her she’s a grown ass adult, not a teenager. Are you saying we’re over, just because of her?
Alice: I can’t do this now, or I’ll cry in front of her. I’ll text later when I’m in my room.
I scrub a hand down my face. She’s worried about crying because she plans to break things off with me. How can I fix this?
I pace a U shape around the bed in my room, thinking. I’m not worked up about tonight in particular; it’s knowing Alice thinks we can never be together that’s the problem.
Maybe I should bide my time. Wait for the show to be done filming and hold off on pursuing a relationship until then.
Will she be willing then, though? Farrah doesn’t give her time off, so how could we ever spend time alone?
I sit on the edge of the bed, burying my head in my hands. I’ve finally met the woman of my dreams, but she’s going to have to choose between me and her job. It’s not right for me to ask that of her.
Alice is so strong. She’s been putting her own wants and needs aside to care for her family for a long time. I shouldn’t have asked her to jeopardize that just because I feel so strongly about her.
It hurts--there’s an actual, physical ache in my gut--as I realize maybe she’ll only ever want to be my friend. As much as I hate seeing her wait on Farrah every day, that’s how she makes the money her family needs. I’m not telling her she could do better, because she’s doing what she has to in order to take care of her parents. I admire that.
Alice would scrub toilets if that’s what it took to make her parents’ lives easier. That tenacity and devotion are a big reason why I’m crazy about her.
Loud music is playing outside now, and it almost drowns out the shouting. I can’t take knowing Alice is so close--right there on the patio--while I’m here, and I can’t go to her.
I grab a baseball hat, put it on, and open the Uber app on my phone. I need a break from this insanity, and I know exactly where I want to go.
seventeen
Alice
My pillowcase smells like Dalton. I close my eyes and breathe in the scent, imagining he’s here.
When we’re snuggling post-sex, I snuggle into his side and wrap my leg around him. He runs his fingertips over my bare skin, spelling out letters to make words on my back.
I can never figure out the letters, and we always end up laughing. If I don’t guess it right, he does it again, so it takes a long time for me to finally figure out the words, and they’re always random.
Indict. Bacon. Anachronism.
I smile at the memory of our most recent night together in this bed, when he spelled cat after I got low-key aggravated over anachronism. It’s sweet, really, because I told him I’ve always loved reading and words, and I think he tries to show me with some of the words that he’s more than the dumb jock perception a lot of people have of athletes.
He doesn’t need to do that, though. I already know much of who he is from our late-night whispered conversations. As the only male in the house for most of his childhood, he felt responsible for his mom and sister. He loves the outdoors and feels guilty about traveling by private plane with his team because of the pollution. If he didn’t play hockey, he’d make his living as a ranger in a national park.
I throw the covers aside and get out of bed, my one-minute post-alarm snooze session over. The only upside of being alone last night is that I got a decent night’s sleep. Not even my anxiety over Farrah finding out about Dalton could keep me up. After four nights in a row of minimal sleep, I crashed for seven hours.