Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 41935 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 210(@200wpm)___ 168(@250wpm)___ 140(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41935 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 210(@200wpm)___ 168(@250wpm)___ 140(@300wpm)
It’s fucking maddening, falling for a woman so hard and fast and instead having to pretend I want someone else.
I’m over the show. Faking shit isn’t for me. But I can’t leave. Not only because of Rita and the league but because then I wouldn’t get to see Alice anymore. I’ll pretend to be interested in anyone if it means I can stay here.
Alice wasn’t at sunrise yoga this morning. Farrah said she was feeling run down and needed some extra rest. I was disappointed, because even though I couldn’t have had a real conversation with her, at least I could’ve seen her.
“What are you looking for here?” I ask JP. “Are you hoping to find a wife?”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t mind it. I’m thirty, you know? I want to be in a relationship with someone for at least a couple of years before I pop the question, so I know it’s right.”
“Yeah. But do you worry about having enough time for it? I know football’s not as demanding as hockey, but it does take up the occasional weekend.”
“Shit.” He laughs, then turns serious again. “I know that’s part of it, but if you find the right woman, she knows what it takes to play at our level, and she supports it. I can’t be with a woman who feels like she’s in competition with football for my time. I’ve been there and done that.”
I nod because I’ve dated women like that, too.
“That’s why I’m here, actually,” JP says. “All the women here are successful. They have their own careers, and they know what it takes to stay at the top.”
“Yeah.”
I thought that was important to me, too. But Farrah couldn’t be more out of touch with the people and the world around her. I can’t be with a woman who is so self-centered.
Alice is good. She cares more about taking care of her family than she does her own happiness. She doesn’t want the spotlight. She listens. I find those things about her so attractive that I can hardly think about anything other than her.
“You think Alice is okay?” I say.
JP shrugs. “Yeah, Farrah said she’s just tired.”
“I’m going to bring her some breakfast.”
He rolls his eyes. “Good one. Looking in on the assistant. I should’ve thought of that.”
I meet his gaze, annoyed. “It’s got nothing to do with Farrah.”
“Sure it doesn’t.”
I don’t care what he thinks. I take my dishes to the kitchen, then ask a kitchen assistant to make a cheese omelet I can drop off for Alice. While they’re working on it, I go over to the breakfast buffet and make her a bowl of fresh fruit.
The kitchen assistant gets me a wood tray and a metal dome to cover up the food. I grab bottles of apple juice and water, stuffing one into each pocket.
“How do I get to the staff rooms” I ask. “And do you know which room Alice is in?”
The assistant gives me directions, and I go through a door in the kitchen to reach the hallway that leads to the staff rooms. Alice’s is the one at the end of the hall.
I knock on the door softly, not wanting to wake her up if she’s asleep. When there’s no answer, I knock again.
I could just leave the tray outside the door for her. But I don’t want to. I turn the door handle, cracking the door open a couple of inches so I can see inside.
It’s a tiny, darkened room with no windows. I can see Alice’s dark hair spilling out over the top of the blanket cocoon she’s wrapped up in. A fan on the floor is running at high speed, drowning out sound and cooling the stuffy room a little. It doesn’t seem like the air conditioning reaches this part of the house.
I walk into the room quietly, wishing I could see her face. But her back is to me and I don’t want to disturb her sleep. The bedside table is way too small to hold the tray, so I set it on the floor instead.
I should’ve put a flower on it. Hopefully the food will be enough to brighten her day.
There are so many things I want to say to her. I want her to know I wanted to be by her side last night, not Farrah’s. I want to tell her I’ve never had such strong feelings for a woman so quickly. That I’m here to listen or hold her. Whatever she needs.
But she works hard, and she needs this rest. So I tiptoe out and close the door again, going to find Alex for my daily production meeting.
“So what are you looking for?” Farrah asks me that evening, seated beside me in one of the hot tubs. “Just fun or something more?”
Fuck. How do I answer that question? I don’t want to say I’m just looking for fun because then she’ll think I want to sleep with her. But if I say I want something more, she’ll think I want to sleep with her and have a relationship with her. I can’t win.