Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 96970 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96970 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about me at all. He clearly did. It was that his care was focused on the negative right now while he processed his anger and grief.
What he didn’t know was that I had time. With age came wisdom, and I was wise enough to wait him out.
Because I wasn’t going anywhere.
And Alexander Marian was mine.
29
ALEX
To: Judd Kincaid
Re: Device/Access Request
We have requisitioned a replacement. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
_____________________
December blew in like a son of a bitch. I was angry all the time, and the only thing that seemed to open the pressure valve was taking sexual pleasure in my biggest enemy.
I knew exactly what Judd Kincaid was doing. He was waiting me out. Like I was going to change my mind eventually and give him another chance.
He was wrong.
Our fight had been a gift. I’d made the mistake of falling for a thrill-seeker once. Now I was preventing myself from making that mistake again.
It was the weirdest possible coincidence that Judd had been put in my path twice, but now I could do what I should have done in the first place: look at things logically and rationally, and realize that I didn’t want to develop real feelings for someone whose job put his life in danger regularly.
I couldn’t handle it. It was as simple as that.
But sleeping with the man without letting myself fall for him? No problem. In fact, yes please. Sign me up.
The first week in December, I’d shown up at his place and insisted on sucking his dick. Not because I cared about him, obviously. But because I wanted more practice sucking a man off for when the time came that I was ready to jump back into the dating or hookup pool.
Did I get immense satisfaction from seeing his eyes roll back in his head and hearing his fists pound the wall behind him while I drove him quickly to orgasm? Yes, yes I did.
But again—and this was crucial—not because I cared about him at all. Only because it meant I was good enough to go out there and hook up with other guys without feeling like such a green newbie anymore.
Because I wasn’t. Thanks to Judd Kincaid, I was no longer a virgin or inexperienced. I was a regular guy who wasn’t intimidated by sex.
In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn’t need Judd to get off with. I could get off with anyone.
I could plan a motherfucking Costco run up to Billings if I wanted.
So when an opportunity for a date with someone else practically landed in my lap, I took it.
Maddox was apparently working with a social media influencer from out of town, and the guy needed a date for an event he was filming. The guy was hot. His Instagram was straight fire, and I was 100 percent here for it.
Probably.
I’d quickly agreed, reveling in my new life as a single guy who was absolutely up for dating new people.
And then my cousin Rosie had caught wind of it and had quickly shot off a bunch of texts while I was in the middle of my personal grocery shopping on a weekday afternoon.
Rosie
Say no to the InstaGay.
Why? And how do you even know about this?
Rosie
I heard it from Maya who heard it from her brother.
Maddox asked me for a favor. And you have to admit it’s not a bad favor.
I linked her to his Insta.
Rosie
So the man has abs that are more visible than other people’s. So what? What would your crush say if he saw you on a very public date with a beautiful influencer?
I stood motionless as the blood drained from my head and face.
What crush?
Rosie
Fine, we’ll play it like that. Let’s say you had a crush on… Oh, let’s say the sheriff.
That is abhorrent. Guy’s a total snooze.
Rosie
Oh, really? Fine. Then let’s say it’s the FIRE CHIEF. Anyway, imagine if he caught wind of you carrying on with the pretty boy from out of town and it made him feel some kind of way. How would that make YOU feel?
I stared at the screen of my phone long enough to get bumped by Mrs. Hoffman’s cart. “Sorry,” I murmured, moving further off to the side by the endcap, where bags of beef jerky tried hard to jump into my cart uninvited.
She was right. If Judd Kincaid accepted one of these dates with Adrian Hayes, I would lose my fucking mind. Which meant it would be mean and hypocritical if I did it.
Did my sister put you up to this?
Rosie
No, but Uncle Blue knows this guy is into you and asked me at Thanksgiving what the deal was. I told him the truth, that I had no idea. But between you and me, Grape? The two of you look at each other like something’s going up in flames.