Total pages in book: 166
Estimated words: 160042 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 800(@200wpm)___ 640(@250wpm)___ 533(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160042 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 800(@200wpm)___ 640(@250wpm)___ 533(@300wpm)
He’s the man I love, and you don’t forget your love just like that. It’s going to take time, but I’m not going to rush myself through it. I’ve already spent my entire life trying not to feel things. So if it’s heartbreak I need to feel, then so be it.
Besides, what’s important is that he’s still keeping his promise of staying away from me. He never shows up for any of the meals. He’s never in the corral where we saw Axton that first time. I never catch a passing glance of him through the kitchen window. In fact, I’ve seen more of Rebel, his horse, in the stables when I take my walks than I’ve seen of him.
Yes, I’ve started taking walks like I used to back at Wildfire. The doctor who came to check me out after my injuries said fresh air would do me good. Plus, I needed to keep myself busy or I’d lose my mind, waiting to get better and leave. So in addition to helping Haven around the house, I also decided to explore the ranch and its beautiful rolling meadows and blue skies. I make sure to steer clear of our barn, however. Too many memories, and I already have so many other things to contend with.
I’ve found a couple of reading spots for myself too. I will admit that every time I go for a walk, I hope to run into him. So much so that sometimes the back of my neck prickles and I feel him watching. I feel him following me, keeping an eye on me so I don’t get lost on his land, and I have to turn back to check if I’m right.
I’m not.
Because as much as he wants to keep me safe and protect me from things, he’s also very good at keeping his promises. I mean, he’s keeping his promise to his baby girl, isn’t he? He promised to keep her safe and he is.
Inside of him and not by seeking revenge.
God, okay. I need to take a breath here, because every time I think about it, I want to collapse on myself and sob. With joy. With victory. With all the emotions that he makes me feel. Turns out, after discovering my father’s almost dead body in the middle of the day, Breck also got a call from his lawyer that Peyton’s marriage and the power of attorney on her share of the land has been dissolved. Not that it was binding in any way, given that I’d signed the papers, and in my name, no less. While this was exactly what Breck wanted, or at least partially, Peyton was still trapped at Rawhide and he wanted her back. Which is why he’d called in the first place, to ask after Peyton. And when she made it clear that she hated her brother’s guts for doing what he did to me, Breck had to resort to blackmail.
But the point is that Arsen gave it up.
He gave up on his quest for revenge, and no matter where things stand between us, I can’t pretend I’m not affected by it. I can’t pretend that I don’t know he’s doing it for Rose. He’s finally, finally, going to live. He’s finally going to move past it and let his baby girl live through him. As he should.
He deserves to live no matter what he thinks about himself.
So in the past week, while he was busy keeping his promise to stay away from me, I was also busy trying to not look for him and just… throw my arms around him and hold on to him. Just tell him how happy I am for him and how every night, I cry for him into my pillow.
At which point, I remind myself that even though he has a future now and I have a future, they’re not the same. I don’t want them to be the same. The truth is, I told him I loved him and he told me to leave. So I’m not going to beg someone for love. I’m not going to wonder why he doesn’t love me. I’ve done all that before. So what I need to do now is forget I’m just some girl to him and move on with my own life.
Which brings me back to the moment and Peyton’s question.
“Maybe there’s another way,” I tell her. “Besides, how do we know Breck’s going to keep his promise? He could still call the cops when you’re there.”
Apparently, Breck has the camera footage from that night that shows Arsen and Rad entering the ranch, and he refuses to give it up or destroy it, calling it his insurance policy. Something no one in the Grayson family likes and for good reason. Except him. He doesn’t care, and he said so. While the tape doesn’t show Arsen’s face, it does show a man wearing a bull mask, which can be traced back to the mask he wore eight years ago. Rad wore a mask, too, but there’s less chance of him being made than of Arsen.