Total pages in book: 188
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
I notice their shoes moving, then. I hear the rustle of someone sitting up on the couch. Someone else has uncrossed their legs, as if becoming alert. As if starting to realize where this might be headed. But I keep going or I’ll never get this out. “He’d get fired left and right, come home and be angry. Take it out on my mother.”
This time there’s a light gasp, and I think it’s from Callie because she reaches out and grab my hand, squeezing it. I squeeze it back and keep going. “It’s okay though. It’s fine. Because my mother, she knows how to take care of herself. She knows how to… hit back, I guess. Oh God, what am I saying?” I close my eyes again before continuing, “None of this is okay. But that’s not the point of this story. The point is, years passed until my stepdad, he got a job here. In Bardstown, and so we packed up and moved away from home and came here. I was twelve at the time and that’s when I found out. About you all. Because my stepdad is,” I clench my teeth, “your dad. Jeremy Thorne.”
At this, Callie squeezes my hand. Hard. I hear not only shuffling of feet and squeaking of the couch as my stepsiblings change positions and go alert, but also of a couple of masculine growls. I want to look up then and see what they’re thinking. But I have to make sure to get the whole story out.
“I know,” I begin again, squeezing Callie’s hand and hoping she doesn’t hate me too much. “This raises a lot of questions, and I’ll answer all of them. But I’m sorry to say that’s also not the point of the story. The point is that when my mom was having an affair with your dad, she got pregnant. With my sister. She never told anyone, definitely not my dad. Until the truth about her affair came out and my dad finally realized that my sister isn’t his daughter, but,” another deep breath, “Jeremy’s.”
“What the fuck?”
This, I know for sure is from Ledger.
But I keep going regardless. “God, I know it gets more fucked up by the second, but I want you to know that I wanted to tell you. So many times over the years, I wanted to… But every time I saw you guys in town, you looked so happy. So together, so… like a family. The kind I’ve never had. The kind that I wanted for myself and… And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t put you guys through all that shit all over again.” I swallow. “And when I became friends with Callie”—her hand spasms in mine and I squeeze it once again—“and actually saw how you guys were, how much you loved each other and looked out for each other and just were there for each other, there was no way I could’ve ever brought it up. There was no way I was ever going to bring him up. But again, that’s not…”
I come to the edge of my seat, my breaths choppy and on the verge of breaking. “My sister, she needs help. She’s sick. She… She has a heart condition. It’s genetic, and last year, she had a big surgery where they replaced her heart. And they told us that everything would be okay. That she’d live a long and happy life and… But last night, she got sick again. Her body is rejecting her new heart. They’re saying her blood is defective and she n-needs… She needs another surgery. She n-needs a bone marrow transplant. They say siblings are the best match but I… I’m not a match. I can’t help her. I can’t…
“Look, I know this is a lot to ask. You don’t even know me except as Callie’s friend, and now you know I’m a liar too. I hid things from you when I should’ve… When I should’ve told you. I should’ve come to you before and it feels like a betrayal, I know. But please, please don’t punish Snow for that. Not that you said you would, but I… She’s really sweet, my sister. She’s only seventeen and she loves books, and she loves soccer. God, does she love soccer. She loves all of you guys. She’s seen all of your games. She has your wallpaper on her computer and her phone and… And she wants to go c-college. I mean, I keep telling her she should go but she doesn’t want to leave me. She says she won’t go until I go, but she’s so smart. She’s so bright and I-I love her so much. She’s the only thing I have in this life. I can’t… I can’t lose her. I can’t… She’s my baby. And I… I have her picture on my phone and I can show you. I can…”